I’ve been in a conundrum with this girl that I’ve been talking to for a year.

We worked together and immediately became pretty good friends. She had a boyfriend that she never talked about and she never really seemed to care to flirt with me. Her and her boyfriend broke up a couple months ago and we’ve been hanging out and talking everyday for the past month and a half or so. She still hangs out with him on occasion because she says that “we were just like friends the whole time” I don’t blame her for keeping him in her life but it’s hard to accept. We have had a good few months together, very affectionate and such good things have happened. She has told me that her ex has given her red flags that she just now recounted and doesn’t want to be with him. She still hangouts with him probably once a week and says we’re still friends but she doesn’t want him. She doesn’t really want anyone to know we’re talking or anything like that on the knowledge that we’re completely different. I really dig this girl and have for awhile now, I’m just not sure how to actually date her and her still have a friend. It may sound strange but I can’t change somebody’s life to accommodate mine. I’ve asked her if she wants to go steady and always get shot down people ask about us and only my close friends know the relationship we’re in, it would be nice to actually be “dating” this girl but she seems to scared of losing a friend. How do I accept this?



Submitted September 25, 2019 at 11:45PM

We worked together and immediately became pretty good friends. She had a boyfriend that she never talked about and she never really seemed to care to flirt with me. Her and her boyfriend broke up a couple months ago and we’ve been hanging out and talking everyday for the past month and a half or so. She still hangs out with him on occasion because she says that “we were just like friends the whole time” I don’t blame her for keeping him in her life but it’s hard to accept. We have had a good few months together, very affectionate and such good things have happened. She has told me that her ex has given her red flags that she just now recounted and doesn’t want to be with him. She still hangouts with him probably once a week and says we’re still friends but she doesn’t want him. She doesn’t really want anyone to know we’re talking or anything like that on the knowledge that we’re completely different. I really dig this girl and have for awhile now, I’m just not sure how to actually date her and her still have a friend. It may sound strange but I can’t change somebody’s life to accommodate mine. I’ve asked her if she wants to go steady and always get shot down people ask about us and only my close friends know the relationship we’re in, it would be nice to actually be “dating” this girl but she seems to scared of losing a friend. How do I accept this?
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