Why am I (30F) required to deal with friends or family with depression/anxiety/mental health issues?

TL;DR at the bottom

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So I know this is going to come off as me being an asshole but I am fed up with the thought process of "You have to help me because I have (insert mental health issue here)" and please hear me out since you are probably already saying to yourself "This lady is an a$$hole"

I know that we, as a society, have a lot of people with mental health issues. I even have had my run in's with anxiety and ptsd. I am different in that when I am having an issue, I keep to myself because I don't like spreading my sadness. Now I have a few good friends that realize when I am being a recluse and will come by to ask if I need anything and I usually just tell them that I'm dealing with a few issues and that sums it up. But they come over and voluntarily put themselves in that situation. I don't ask for them to do that nor do I go to them and just start unloading on them as if they are a trashcan to be used whenever I feel like it.

Now let me make this very clear: I AM NOT SAYING TO QUIT REACHING OUT FOR HELP IF HELP IS NEEDED. We all need help at some point in time. What I don't like is when I am forced to help. There are days when I cannot help because I'm not in a good mindset myself and I cannot handle other people's problems. I had a friend tell me yesterday that I am a bitch because she is going through depression really bad and I wouldn't bother sitting with her and listening to her. She was upset because her boyfriend of 8 months was getting frustrated that every time he came home, she was always crying or depressed and so it was affecting him and making him feel depressed. Their relationship apparently started off great where she was happy-go-lucky (I remember this as well) and then she started getting depressed all of the time. He told her that he couldn't have one good day because he was always having to figure out how to make her feel better. He was doing all the chores in the home such as cooking and cleaning for her while she watched tv all day. He was always getting her flowers and trying to read books/articles to help himself understand how to be a better boyfriend to her. He finally had enough and left. She hated him because he left her because "he couldn't accept me for who I am" and I'm sitting here thinking that every other day I feel like I am forced to take her out to lunch because she is too depressed to cook and I feel emotionally drained having to handle all of her issues. I am not a trained therapist. I have no idea what to do or say. All I know is that I'm starting to resent this friendship because I feel used. But she isn't the first friend/family member to treat me like this and make me feel this way.

That being said, when I voiced my opinions about how unfair it is to pressure others into dealing with your issues, I got a lot of backlash from family and friends that made me feel guilty as hell. Most of them saying "Well if I kill myself, that blood is on your hands" and I find that completely unfair. I have woken up in the middle of the night to see family members who were having an anxiety attack or threatening suicide. One family member threatened suicide every week and every week I was calling 911 while speeding to get to her house and when I was there, she had all her friends there and (as much as I hate to admit this) I felt like it was an attention ploy because as soon as ambulance arrived, I would be screamed at (yes, screamed) for calling 911. I have friends who are in this constant state of depression and while I try to spend time with them because they are friends, I find the length of time between visits to be growing more and more because I just don't want to deal with another "I am so depressed because of....". I feel like since I have started cutting those visits down more, I have found that my own mental state is healthier. Am I a horrible person for all of this?

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TL;DR
Am I a horrible person because I don't care for being around people with mental health issues? And the more that I have cut down the visits with people with mental health problems, the better my own mental health has been.

Submitted August 09, 2019 at 12:19AM

TL;DR at the bottom​So I know this is going to come off as me being an asshole but I am fed up with the thought process of "You have to help me because I have (insert mental health issue here)" and please hear me out since you are probably already saying to yourself "This lady is an a$$hole"I know that we, as a society, have a lot of people with mental health issues. I even have had my run in's with anxiety and ptsd. I am different in that when I am having an issue, I keep to myself because I don't like spreading my sadness. Now I have a few good friends that realize when I am being a recluse and will come by to ask if I need anything and I usually just tell them that I'm dealing with a few issues and that sums it up. But they come over and voluntarily put themselves in that situation. I don't ask for them to do that nor do I go to them and just start unloading on them as if they are a trashcan to be used whenever I feel like it.Now let me make this very clear: I AM NOT SAYING TO QUIT REACHING OUT FOR HELP IF HELP IS NEEDED. We all need help at some point in time. What I don't like is when I am forced to help. There are days when I cannot help because I'm not in a good mindset myself and I cannot handle other people's problems. I had a friend tell me yesterday that I am a bitch because she is going through depression really bad and I wouldn't bother sitting with her and listening to her. She was upset because her boyfriend of 8 months was getting frustrated that every time he came home, she was always crying or depressed and so it was affecting him and making him feel depressed. Their relationship apparently started off great where she was happy-go-lucky (I remember this as well) and then she started getting depressed all of the time. He told her that he couldn't have one good day because he was always having to figure out how to make her feel better. He was doing all the chores in the home such as cooking and cleaning for her while she watched tv all day. He was always getting her flowers and trying to read books/articles to help himself understand how to be a better boyfriend to her. He finally had enough and left. She hated him because he left her because "he couldn't accept me for who I am" and I'm sitting here thinking that every other day I feel like I am forced to take her out to lunch because she is too depressed to cook and I feel emotionally drained having to handle all of her issues. I am not a trained therapist. I have no idea what to do or say. All I know is that I'm starting to resent this friendship because I feel used. But she isn't the first friend/family member to treat me like this and make me feel this way.That being said, when I voiced my opinions about how unfair it is to pressure others into dealing with your issues, I got a lot of backlash from family and friends that made me feel guilty as hell. Most of them saying "Well if I kill myself, that blood is on your hands" and I find that completely unfair. I have woken up in the middle of the night to see family members who were having an anxiety attack or threatening suicide. One family member threatened suicide every week and every week I was calling 911 while speeding to get to her house and when I was there, she had all her friends there and (as much as I hate to admit this) I felt like it was an attention ploy because as soon as ambulance arrived, I would be screamed at (yes, screamed) for calling 911. I have friends who are in this constant state of depression and while I try to spend time with them because they are friends, I find the length of time between visits to be growing more and more because I just don't want to deal with another "I am so depressed because of....". I feel like since I have started cutting those visits down more, I have found that my own mental state is healthier. Am I a horrible person for all of this?​TL;DRAm I a horrible person because I don't care for being around people with mental health issues? And the more that I have cut down the visits with people with mental health problems, the better my own mental health has been.