Girlfriend is trying to control my new friendship

tl;dr: I made a new friend that happens to be a woman and my girlfriend is being controlling and needy about it.

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My friend also made a post and I don't feel like people are seeing her side of it,

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Ok so I (M27) have been with my girlfriend Melanie (F22) for about a year and we live together. She and I have an open relationship where it's ok to hookup with someone else as a short term fling or one night stand kind of situation. We do not date other people. Well it's a lot easier for her to meet people in real life where the opportunity presents itself for her. She's beautiful and works as a hairstylist in a popular salon where there's lots of male clients. I'm a straight male programmer with only a few coworkers so it's not like I randomly meet that many people that are interested in having sex with me, so I do have a tinder and bumble and yes Melanie knows about them and understands why it's harder for me to have the opportunities she has.

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About 3 weeks ago I met this girl, Ericka (F24) on bumble and we end up going hiking on the coast and watching the sunset, we really hit it off with great conversation and I explained my open relationship to her and she said she wasn't interested in being a part of that but we agreed to be friends. When I got home and Melanie asks how my date was I told her that we were just going to be friends and she seemed cool with that.

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Ericka and I have been hanging out pretty regularly (every couple days) since then. Mostly we just grab tea or lunch and talk, once she came over to my place and we hung out in the living room while Melanie was at work. She just got out of a serious relationship that sounds pretty toxic and she seems pretty broken up about it and it's been nice talking with her because my last relationship ended pretty shitty and I don't feel like I can talk to Melanie about it (I was talking to my ex a little bit until Melanie and I moved in together and she found out and was very upset). Ericka and I also text often. Several times a day most days, and Melanie is starting to have a problem with it. She told me she doesn't like that Ericka has been to our place without me asking her first, that she doesn't like how often Ericka is texting me or how much she seems to be relying on me for emotional support and she wants to meet Ericka. But I don't think I should have to ask who I invite over, I don't think she has a right to control who I text and how much, or who I decide to get lunch with. She's playing a double standard because Ericka is a woman.

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So me,Melanie and some of our friends had a night hike to watch the sunrise planned and I decided to invite Ericka so she and Melanie could spend some time together. I told Melanie that if she doesn't like how much Ericka is contacting me then she should talk to her about how she feels. Ericka comes to our place, a little unprepared as I told her it would be cold at the top and she's wearing a tank top and leggings, so Melanie lends her some of her clothes. The car ride there is pretty cramped, I have a sedan and 5 people were in it. Ericka is quite a bit taller than Melanie and asked Melanie if she could sit up front instead, well Melanie just kind of moved the seat forward and asked if that was better, which I thought was a little passive aggressive. Before we start the hike the two of them go to the bathroom together and when they came back things seemed a little weird between them.

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The next day after the hike Ericka texts me that Melanie had been really rude to her in the bathroom and told her that she needed to stop texting me all the time. I'm so mad that Melanie is letting her insecurity get the best of her and being a bitch to someone else and creating drama. I take Ericka out for lunch to check on her and the place we went happened to be a couple blocks from Melanie's salon. Later that night I told her I went to lunch with Ericka and she flipped out! She was pissed that we didn't come say Hi to her at work when we were eating so close by. She busted out in tears and basically tells me that she hates Ericka and wants me to stop talking to her. It's completely ridiculous, she does not get to decide who I am friends with.

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How do I get her to see she's being insanely jealous and insecure?

Submitted August 09, 2019 at 12:30AM

tl;dr: I made a new friend that happens to be a woman and my girlfriend is being controlling and needy about it.​My friend also made a post and I don't feel like people are seeing her side of it,​Ok so I (M27) have been with my girlfriend Melanie (F22) for about a year and we live together. She and I have an open relationship where it's ok to hookup with someone else as a short term fling or one night stand kind of situation. We do not date other people. Well it's a lot easier for her to meet people in real life where the opportunity presents itself for her. She's beautiful and works as a hairstylist in a popular salon where there's lots of male clients. I'm a straight male programmer with only a few coworkers so it's not like I randomly meet that many people that are interested in having sex with me, so I do have a tinder and bumble and yes Melanie knows about them and understands why it's harder for me to have the opportunities she has.​About 3 weeks ago I met this girl, Ericka (F24) on bumble and we end up going hiking on the coast and watching the sunset, we really hit it off with great conversation and I explained my open relationship to her and she said she wasn't interested in being a part of that but we agreed to be friends. When I got home and Melanie asks how my date was I told her that we were just going to be friends and she seemed cool with that.​Ericka and I have been hanging out pretty regularly (every couple days) since then. Mostly we just grab tea or lunch and talk, once she came over to my place and we hung out in the living room while Melanie was at work. She just got out of a serious relationship that sounds pretty toxic and she seems pretty broken up about it and it's been nice talking with her because my last relationship ended pretty shitty and I don't feel like I can talk to Melanie about it (I was talking to my ex a little bit until Melanie and I moved in together and she found out and was very upset). Ericka and I also text often. Several times a day most days, and Melanie is starting to have a problem with it. She told me she doesn't like that Ericka has been to our place without me asking her first, that she doesn't like how often Ericka is texting me or how much she seems to be relying on me for emotional support and she wants to meet Ericka. But I don't think I should have to ask who I invite over, I don't think she has a right to control who I text and how much, or who I decide to get lunch with. She's playing a double standard because Ericka is a woman.​So me,Melanie and some of our friends had a night hike to watch the sunrise planned and I decided to invite Ericka so she and Melanie could spend some time together. I told Melanie that if she doesn't like how much Ericka is contacting me then she should talk to her about how she feels. Ericka comes to our place, a little unprepared as I told her it would be cold at the top and she's wearing a tank top and leggings, so Melanie lends her some of her clothes. The car ride there is pretty cramped, I have a sedan and 5 people were in it. Ericka is quite a bit taller than Melanie and asked Melanie if she could sit up front instead, well Melanie just kind of moved the seat forward and asked if that was better, which I thought was a little passive aggressive. Before we start the hike the two of them go to the bathroom together and when they came back things seemed a little weird between them.​The next day after the hike Ericka texts me that Melanie had been really rude to her in the bathroom and told her that she needed to stop texting me all the time. I'm so mad that Melanie is letting her insecurity get the best of her and being a bitch to someone else and creating drama. I take Ericka out for lunch to check on her and the place we went happened to be a couple blocks from Melanie's salon. Later that night I told her I went to lunch with Ericka and she flipped out! She was pissed that we didn't come say Hi to her at work when we were eating so close by. She busted out in tears and basically tells me that she hates Ericka and wants me to stop talking to her. It's completely ridiculous, she does not get to decide who I am friends with.​How do I get her to see she's being insanely jealous and insecure?