Was I wrong for asking my girlfriend if she loves me?

About a month ago I [M29] overheard a conversation my GF [F23] had on the phone with her brother. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard her talking in the room next to mine while I tried to fall asleep. When I heard my name I didn't think much of it, but I really started paying attention after I kept hearing my name.

She was telling him that she knew we weren't soulmates and maybe she was staying with me because she hasn't had anything serious since high school. She also said that I was too much of a smart ass (which is fair) but she also included that things were getting worse between us. She said it felt like we were more like friends than lovers. I thought it was wild, since she's planning to move into my place soon. She told her brother she'd be happy to move in, but in another room away from mine. All this broke my heart, but things seemed to be getting serious and I convinced myself I could change things.

I never planned to tell her what I heard, but lately I've been asking questions along the lines of, "are you happy with me?" or "have I been a burden to you?" because she does a lot for me. This includes cooking, cleaning, driving me places, and taking care of me because of a medical condition I have. She is my world and I love her. She finally cornered me and asked why I'd been asking her those things. I very reluctantly told her about what I'd heard.

She tried to reassure me that if she had a problem or concern she'd come tell me herself. She also asked why I waited a few weeks to tell her. Of course I never planned on ever telling her, I just gave her the reason I was asking questions. I asked if she really loved me and if she wanted to stay with me. She kept reassuring me and told me she loves me, then she left for work that night. It was a different story in the morning. She wouldn't speak to me or even look at me. After a while she finally said she was disappointed and angry I even questioned her love for me and called me an asshole for asking. It makes me angry that she flipped this on me. She's questioning the whole thing now, telling me I really messed things up. Was my timing wrong? Should I not have asked? Do I really deserve to be scolded? Was her reaction the answer to my question? My head is really clouded and I'm very confused over this.

Tl:dr Overheard my girlfriend telling her brother she's questioning our relationship, so I followed up and asked her if she loves me. Now she's angry I even asked.



Submitted August 29, 2019 at 12:06AM

About a month ago I [M29] overheard a conversation my GF [F23] had on the phone with her brother. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard her talking in the room next to mine while I tried to fall asleep. When I heard my name I didn't think much of it, but I really started paying attention after I kept hearing my name.She was telling him that she knew we weren't soulmates and maybe she was staying with me because she hasn't had anything serious since high school. She also said that I was too much of a smart ass (which is fair) but she also included that things were getting worse between us. She said it felt like we were more like friends than lovers. I thought it was wild, since she's planning to move into my place soon. She told her brother she'd be happy to move in, but in another room away from mine. All this broke my heart, but things seemed to be getting serious and I convinced myself I could change things.I never planned to tell her what I heard, but lately I've been asking questions along the lines of, "are you happy with me?" or "have I been a burden to you?" because she does a lot for me. This includes cooking, cleaning, driving me places, and taking care of me because of a medical condition I have. She is my world and I love her. She finally cornered me and asked why I'd been asking her those things. I very reluctantly told her about what I'd heard.She tried to reassure me that if she had a problem or concern she'd come tell me herself. She also asked why I waited a few weeks to tell her. Of course I never planned on ever telling her, I just gave her the reason I was asking questions. I asked if she really loved me and if she wanted to stay with me. She kept reassuring me and told me she loves me, then she left for work that night. It was a different story in the morning. She wouldn't speak to me or even look at me. After a while she finally said she was disappointed and angry I even questioned her love for me and called me an asshole for asking. It makes me angry that she flipped this on me. She's questioning the whole thing now, telling me I really messed things up. Was my timing wrong? Should I not have asked? Do I really deserve to be scolded? Was her reaction the answer to my question? My head is really clouded and I'm very confused over this.Tl:dr Overheard my girlfriend telling her brother she's questioning our relationship, so I followed up and asked her if she loves me. Now she's angry I even asked.
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