Trying to date while dealing with mental illness is beginning to drain me (24F). How do you cope with it?

Had three long-term relationships that ended badly. Last relationship ended when I was hospitalized for depression and he couldn't handle it and left. I have a very difficult time trusting people to begin with. I suffer with Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, and Borderline Personality. I've been single for a few months now, and would really like to find a life partner. Tried Match, started talking to a guy, but freaked out when he mentioned his stance on body positivity and being overweight. I am by no means a thin girl. I'd say average, but even then I panicked and felt inadequate. Spent a few days thinking and decided I'm too depressed and terrifed to trust someone again. Ended up telling him that I am unstable and broke off contact. He likely had a few girls lined up anyways, so not like it mattered to him, but it still upsets me that I can't commit to anyone with being frightened that my illness and insecurities get in the way.

Anyone else relate?

Tldr: my illnesses get in the fucking way



Submitted August 29, 2019 at 12:08AM

Had three long-term relationships that ended badly. Last relationship ended when I was hospitalized for depression and he couldn't handle it and left. I have a very difficult time trusting people to begin with. I suffer with Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, and Borderline Personality. I've been single for a few months now, and would really like to find a life partner. Tried Match, started talking to a guy, but freaked out when he mentioned his stance on body positivity and being overweight. I am by no means a thin girl. I'd say average, but even then I panicked and felt inadequate. Spent a few days thinking and decided I'm too depressed and terrifed to trust someone again. Ended up telling him that I am unstable and broke off contact. He likely had a few girls lined up anyways, so not like it mattered to him, but it still upsets me that I can't commit to anyone with being frightened that my illness and insecurities get in the way.Anyone else relate?Tldr: my illnesses get in the fucking way
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