Splitting Christmas with my fiancé: looking for advice

My fiancé (M22) and I (F21) have been dating for 4 years, and have recently gotten engaged. We want to spend Christmas together, and have three weeks in December to see our families together. The problem is, both of us (understandably) want to spend the holiday with our respective families. He wants us to spend the 25th with his family, who lives in AZ. And I want us to spend the day with mine, who lives in ND. Logically, we know that we will spend a week and a half with the first family, spend Christmas Day with them, and then fly to the other to spend New Years. But he has a very little sister who has just come out of a mental institution for depression, who would be crushed if he wasn’t there for the holiday, and my father is dying of cancer and we don’t know how many christmases he has left, and would be alone on the 25th if we weren’t there. Does anyone have any advice on how to decide what to do this holiday season? Neither of us can visit over thanksgiving, so alternating families with that isn’t an option.

TL;DR: looking for advice on how to make a day that’s not Christmas (like the 29th) still feel special, and tips on sharing holidays with your significant other’s family.



Submitted August 14, 2019 at 11:59PM

My fiancé (M22) and I (F21) have been dating for 4 years, and have recently gotten engaged. We want to spend Christmas together, and have three weeks in December to see our families together. The problem is, both of us (understandably) want to spend the holiday with our respective families. He wants us to spend the 25th with his family, who lives in AZ. And I want us to spend the day with mine, who lives in ND. Logically, we know that we will spend a week and a half with the first family, spend Christmas Day with them, and then fly to the other to spend New Years. But he has a very little sister who has just come out of a mental institution for depression, who would be crushed if he wasn’t there for the holiday, and my father is dying of cancer and we don’t know how many christmases he has left, and would be alone on the 25th if we weren’t there. Does anyone have any advice on how to decide what to do this holiday season? Neither of us can visit over thanksgiving, so alternating families with that isn’t an option.TL;DR: looking for advice on how to make a day that’s not Christmas (like the 29th) still feel special, and tips on sharing holidays with your significant other’s family.
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