my boyfriend (m20) wants to move to cali and i (m19) want to stay

(19 m) hey, i never have really used the internet to seek help in relationships other than asking friends and stuff so im sorry if this sounds dumb. i met my boyfriend (20m) in highschool when he was a senior and i was a junior. we went through his senior year and my senior year after he graduated okay. so we have been together for almost 3 years? but a lot of things have happened to me and my family that makes it hard to move out of the state.

my mom had a blood clot burst in her head about 7 years ago and the entire process traumatized me. she had to get surgery a year or two back which made me even scared, considering the same issue could come up again. essentially, my severe anxiety and literal paranoia permits me from leaving my home state, mn.

i took a gap year for college and am quickly approaching my first year of school. my boyfriend wants to move out of state, all the way to california. we both want to continue this relationship since we have had it steady for awhile. we both have a year left up until he leaves, which is a lot of time, but we are both struggling with the fact that even if we continue in this year, if one of us has not changed our minds about staying or leaving, were just going to have nothing to fight for in the end. all of this doesnt make sense and im sorry, like i said ive never posted for help online, but thanks for bearing through this. any suggestions??

tl;dr: my boyfriend wants to move away and i dont, but we dont know how to continue this relationship even though we want to



Submitted August 02, 2019 at 12:09AM

(19 m) hey, i never have really used the internet to seek help in relationships other than asking friends and stuff so im sorry if this sounds dumb. i met my boyfriend (20m) in highschool when he was a senior and i was a junior. we went through his senior year and my senior year after he graduated okay. so we have been together for almost 3 years? but a lot of things have happened to me and my family that makes it hard to move out of the state.my mom had a blood clot burst in her head about 7 years ago and the entire process traumatized me. she had to get surgery a year or two back which made me even scared, considering the same issue could come up again. essentially, my severe anxiety and literal paranoia permits me from leaving my home state, mn.i took a gap year for college and am quickly approaching my first year of school. my boyfriend wants to move out of state, all the way to california. we both want to continue this relationship since we have had it steady for awhile. we both have a year left up until he leaves, which is a lot of time, but we are both struggling with the fact that even if we continue in this year, if one of us has not changed our minds about staying or leaving, were just going to have nothing to fight for in the end. all of this doesnt make sense and im sorry, like i said ive never posted for help online, but thanks for bearing through this. any suggestions??tl;dr: my boyfriend wants to move away and i dont, but we dont know how to continue this relationship even though we want to
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