My (26F) best friend (25F) got engaged 2 months ago and didn’t tell me?

I made a post on r/relationship_advice but didn’t get much response so here goes.

Me and my best friend met while we were at college (2011) and we have been inseparable ever since. We tell each other everything and could easily go 4 hours on FaceTime every night (we live in different cities).

She’s always been in a relationship throughout our friendship but this has never affected our friendship. Her last relationship ended a year ago. Our friendship was real special, the best I ever had, up until about 6 months ago. This guy that she used to date when she was like 14 comes back into her life and they start seeing each other again. We stopped talking as much and although it sucked I know that this happens when you get into a new relationship. She started sharing less and less with me which I thought was weird because we literally told each other everything. And when she did share something she was very vague about it.

We recently went on vacation together and I noticed a ring on her finger. I was taken aback because surely this is something you would share with your best friend? I asked her if she was engaged and she said no, it’s a promise ring and that she was not 100% and the reason that she didn’t tell me is because we haven’t spoken much :/ Whenever there was good news either one of us would be on the phone so that’s bullshit. I go back to her house after our vacation and see a “congratulations you’re engaged!” card on her desk. Again I ask her, she denies it. 2 weeks ago I ended up in a Group FaceTime call with her and her family and an auntie that I have never met before asks me if I am coming to the wedding. (What wedding?). The last straw for me was her mom announcing on Facebook that her daughter is engaged. I ask my friend again because why the secrecy, it’s not a secret? Again she denies it.

I just don’t understand why she doesn’t feel she can tell me when literally everybody and their dog knows. It’s really hurtful knowing she has told everyone but me. The one person she can fully be herself with (she’s from a very islamic Asian family). Her family also treat me like their own but they don’t even know that I don’t know or not supposed to know.

I’ve met this guy once, he seems ok. I even encouraged her in the beginning to date him because why not!? I just don’t understand why she finds it so difficult to be honest with me about this. I have tried to speak to her but all I get is “it’s a promise ring”, “I’m not sure” “I haven’t made my mind up”. But the decision is clearly made? I can’t stop thinking that if we didn’t go on vacation and see the ring I would have been none the wiser about it. :(

Can anyone help me make sense of this because something doesn’t feel right.

TL;DR Best friend has been engaged for 2 months and did not tell me yet everyone else knows. Denies that she’s engaged when I ask :/

Submitted August 01, 2019 at 11:58PM

I made a post on r/relationship_advice but didn’t get much response so here goes.Me and my best friend met while we were at college (2011) and we have been inseparable ever since. We tell each other everything and could easily go 4 hours on FaceTime every night (we live in different cities).She’s always been in a relationship throughout our friendship but this has never affected our friendship. Her last relationship ended a year ago. Our friendship was real special, the best I ever had, up until about 6 months ago. This guy that she used to date when she was like 14 comes back into her life and they start seeing each other again. We stopped talking as much and although it sucked I know that this happens when you get into a new relationship. She started sharing less and less with me which I thought was weird because we literally told each other everything. And when she did share something she was very vague about it.We recently went on vacation together and I noticed a ring on her finger. I was taken aback because surely this is something you would share with your best friend? I asked her if she was engaged and she said no, it’s a promise ring and that she was not 100% and the reason that she didn’t tell me is because we haven’t spoken much :/ Whenever there was good news either one of us would be on the phone so that’s bullshit. I go back to her house after our vacation and see a “congratulations you’re engaged!” card on her desk. Again I ask her, she denies it. 2 weeks ago I ended up in a Group FaceTime call with her and her family and an auntie that I have never met before asks me if I am coming to the wedding. (What wedding?). The last straw for me was her mom announcing on Facebook that her daughter is engaged. I ask my friend again because why the secrecy, it’s not a secret? Again she denies it.I just don’t understand why she doesn’t feel she can tell me when literally everybody and their dog knows. It’s really hurtful knowing she has told everyone but me. The one person she can fully be herself with (she’s from a very islamic Asian family). Her family also treat me like their own but they don’t even know that I don’t know or not supposed to know.I’ve met this guy once, he seems ok. I even encouraged her in the beginning to date him because why not!? I just don’t understand why she finds it so difficult to be honest with me about this. I have tried to speak to her but all I get is “it’s a promise ring”, “I’m not sure” “I haven’t made my mind up”. But the decision is clearly made? I can’t stop thinking that if we didn’t go on vacation and see the ring I would have been none the wiser about it. :(Can anyone help me make sense of this because something doesn’t feel right.TL;DR Best friend has been engaged for 2 months and did not tell me yet everyone else knows. Denies that she’s engaged when I ask :/