I’m a 16F. I’ve never dated anyone. I have a lot of questions/fear surrounding relationships.

About week ago, I started getting really in to true crime podcasts. One of them, The Vanished, was about missing people. (I swear this is relevant, I promise). Me being me, I got sucked in, but the whole thing made me feel kind of anxious. One thing in particular that I noticed was that almost every single person, especially the women, had been involved in an abusive relationship. I was especially affected by the case of a woman whose husband was so abusive and so isolating that when she went missing (read: was killed by him) her own family didn’t know for thirteen months. The whole thing makes me feel super scared.

I guess my question is, how do you find a good person to love? How do you know that that person will never harm you? How do you know that they will never get physical during an argument? Is there a way to tell? Some metric to use?

And if you can find a good person, how do you ensure mutual love and respect?

I get that these are big, kind of uncomfortable questions, and I’m sorry. It just seems like everyone on has figured out healthy love, and I’d like to get some tips/maybe some comfort. Thanks for listening.



Submitted August 31, 2019 at 12:04AM

About week ago, I started getting really in to true crime podcasts. One of them, The Vanished, was about missing people. (I swear this is relevant, I promise). Me being me, I got sucked in, but the whole thing made me feel kind of anxious. One thing in particular that I noticed was that almost every single person, especially the women, had been involved in an abusive relationship. I was especially affected by the case of a woman whose husband was so abusive and so isolating that when she went missing (read: was killed by him) her own family didn’t know for thirteen months. The whole thing makes me feel super scared.I guess my question is, how do you find a good person to love? How do you know that that person will never harm you? How do you know that they will never get physical during an argument? Is there a way to tell? Some metric to use?And if you can find a good person, how do you ensure mutual love and respect?I get that these are big, kind of uncomfortable questions, and I’m sorry. It just seems like everyone on has figured out healthy love, and I’d like to get some tips/maybe some comfort. Thanks for listening.
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