I (20M) Am Trying To Get Back Into The Dating Game After A Relationship Of A Year And A Half Failed. But I Worry I Look A Lot Weirder Than I Actually Am.

So, I (20M) have recently decided to get back into the dating game after a relationship of about a year and a half ended. I haven't made any effort to start dating again, and we broke up when I was 18 and a senior in High School. It was the first serious relationship I was ever in, so it took some time to feel ready to start dating again after it.

Now its been a little while and I've been feeling my confidence get back to me, and was really excited to start dating again when I kinda hit a wall in my excitement. See, I'm not particularly rich, and neither is my family, so I still live at home with my mother. I love my mother, and would definitely consider myself a bit of a mamas boy, but I also like to think my relationship with my mother is fairly healthy for someone of my age. I can ask her for advice comfortably and enjoy spending time with my mom, but I also have other things going on in my life and I have my own interests. But considering that we are kind of poor, and live in a small little cabin where I sleep in an attic loft and there isn't even bedroom doors, I worry this would make me look weird or immature to any girls I meet. Its not like I'm in high school anymore, where those kinds of things can be forgiven because we're all in high school.

I drive, and though I'm currently between jobs after getting home from a job in West Virginia I've got a couple I've applied for and have a few interviews lined up. But, for the past two years I've just kinda been drifting around doing jobs up and down the east coast. Most of my family is from Virginia, so I've been travelling around that area working in restaurants and such, went out to New Mexico to do some work for my aunt, things like that. This has been compounding with my anxieties about my current living situation. I worry that though I know in my head I fairly stable, have a healthy relationship with my friends and family and am a hard worker and good with people, it might not seem that way to any girls I may be into. At an age where we are all going to college and trying to establish ourselves as independent and separate ourselves from our parents, I feel like I'm not a particularly attractive option despite trying to be. This whole story has always been great for parties and things, because its fun and I've got lots of stories at a young age from being all over the country, but thinking about it in terms of relationships I suddenly feel really insecure about it. In my mind, I keep worrying that I look like a weird, creepy drifter who has few real friends and still lives with his mom in a creepy little cabin. You know, like a loser, or a serial killer.

I don't know, I was very excited to get back into dating but after thinking about it too hard I think I've kind of scared myself. I'm already shy around girls as it is, but this train of thought has made me very anxious about this even though its something I really want. So what say you Reddit Hivemind, is there any way I can spin this to have my actual personality and dreams stand out from the kind of odd trajectory my life has taken up to this point? Any tips people have as to how to seem more like a young man who works hard and loves his mom and less like a weird drifter who lives in a cabin in the woods?

TL;DR After my first serious relationship didn't work out, I wandered around the country living with family and doing odd jobs to try and earn money I didn't have, but now am back in my hometown and wanting to get back into dating. But, due to not being very wealthy, I still live with my mother in a small cabin, and I worry I look super creepy and immature because of it even though I'm just simply poor and don't have a lot of other options if I want to better myself. How should I make that fact clear, and not look like a weirdo?

Submitted August 30, 2019 at 11:38PM

So, I (20M) have recently decided to get back into the dating game after a relationship of about a year and a half ended. I haven't made any effort to start dating again, and we broke up when I was 18 and a senior in High School. It was the first serious relationship I was ever in, so it took some time to feel ready to start dating again after it.Now its been a little while and I've been feeling my confidence get back to me, and was really excited to start dating again when I kinda hit a wall in my excitement. See, I'm not particularly rich, and neither is my family, so I still live at home with my mother. I love my mother, and would definitely consider myself a bit of a mamas boy, but I also like to think my relationship with my mother is fairly healthy for someone of my age. I can ask her for advice comfortably and enjoy spending time with my mom, but I also have other things going on in my life and I have my own interests. But considering that we are kind of poor, and live in a small little cabin where I sleep in an attic loft and there isn't even bedroom doors, I worry this would make me look weird or immature to any girls I meet. Its not like I'm in high school anymore, where those kinds of things can be forgiven because we're all in high school.I drive, and though I'm currently between jobs after getting home from a job in West Virginia I've got a couple I've applied for and have a few interviews lined up. But, for the past two years I've just kinda been drifting around doing jobs up and down the east coast. Most of my family is from Virginia, so I've been travelling around that area working in restaurants and such, went out to New Mexico to do some work for my aunt, things like that. This has been compounding with my anxieties about my current living situation. I worry that though I know in my head I fairly stable, have a healthy relationship with my friends and family and am a hard worker and good with people, it might not seem that way to any girls I may be into. At an age where we are all going to college and trying to establish ourselves as independent and separate ourselves from our parents, I feel like I'm not a particularly attractive option despite trying to be. This whole story has always been great for parties and things, because its fun and I've got lots of stories at a young age from being all over the country, but thinking about it in terms of relationships I suddenly feel really insecure about it. In my mind, I keep worrying that I look like a weird, creepy drifter who has few real friends and still lives with his mom in a creepy little cabin. You know, like a loser, or a serial killer.I don't know, I was very excited to get back into dating but after thinking about it too hard I think I've kind of scared myself. I'm already shy around girls as it is, but this train of thought has made me very anxious about this even though its something I really want. So what say you Reddit Hivemind, is there any way I can spin this to have my actual personality and dreams stand out from the kind of odd trajectory my life has taken up to this point? Any tips people have as to how to seem more like a young man who works hard and loves his mom and less like a weird drifter who lives in a cabin in the woods?TL;DR After my first serious relationship didn't work out, I wandered around the country living with family and doing odd jobs to try and earn money I didn't have, but now am back in my hometown and wanting to get back into dating. But, due to not being very wealthy, I still live with my mother in a small cabin, and I worry I look super creepy and immature because of it even though I'm just simply poor and don't have a lot of other options if I want to better myself. How should I make that fact clear, and not look like a weirdo?