Becoming masculine

Hey, 17 year old boy here.

I am in desperate need of an answer to my question. I grew up with a single mother who is a really good human. She taught me good manners and all that stuff but she hasn't had the best youth tho. I never met my dad. I never had a father figure in my life. The family I spent the Most time with were females,like my aunt and cousin. Other family lives in an other country and we do not have contact with them anymore.

So my childhood was great. I had friends and I didn't get bullied and I was popular kinda. Everything changed when I went to high school. I was the only guy of color on my high school and that meant that people did not really want to be friends with me. That + normal insecurities for a teen + no father led to 3 years of social isolation in me 12-15. Only thing I did was gaming in my room. I NEVER went out with someone in that time and got teased in class.

When I turned 15 we moved to a city (before was a village) and I actually managed to get some friends and I got invited to parties and stuff. I felt accepted. I learned a little bit how to interact with other guys/me, or so I thought. I just turned 17 now and I notice when I am with other men I always seem to get disrespected and I can't even hold good eye contact, it scares me.

I never learned how to be and look masculine to the outside world because I was raised by a single mom and never had a father figure in my life. It is starting to take a toll on me... When I'm at work I just get disrespected and shitted on, I am good looking but I can't hold attraction with women, I am depressed and unmotivated to do things and I feel like it has to do with the fact that I'm not I'm touch with my masculinity. My masculinity is nowhere to be found... At school I got some friends who I hang with, I don't seem lonely at school but I am. When someone disrespects me I react really impulsive and my adrenaline just shoots up...

I want to become masculine and a man finally. I do not want to end up being 40 and having only slept with 2 girls in my life or being disrespected or lonely. How can I become masculine and cure all the things I mentioned above ? What steps do I take.. And if you have other things to say, everything is welcome at this point..

Submitted August 30, 2019 at 11:35PM

Hey, 17 year old boy here.I am in desperate need of an answer to my question. I grew up with a single mother who is a really good human. She taught me good manners and all that stuff but she hasn't had the best youth tho. I never met my dad. I never had a father figure in my life. The family I spent the Most time with were females,like my aunt and cousin. Other family lives in an other country and we do not have contact with them anymore.So my childhood was great. I had friends and I didn't get bullied and I was popular kinda. Everything changed when I went to high school. I was the only guy of color on my high school and that meant that people did not really want to be friends with me. That + normal insecurities for a teen + no father led to 3 years of social isolation in me 12-15. Only thing I did was gaming in my room. I NEVER went out with someone in that time and got teased in class.When I turned 15 we moved to a city (before was a village) and I actually managed to get some friends and I got invited to parties and stuff. I felt accepted. I learned a little bit how to interact with other guys/me, or so I thought. I just turned 17 now and I notice when I am with other men I always seem to get disrespected and I can't even hold good eye contact, it scares me.I never learned how to be and look masculine to the outside world because I was raised by a single mom and never had a father figure in my life. It is starting to take a toll on me... When I'm at work I just get disrespected and shitted on, I am good looking but I can't hold attraction with women, I am depressed and unmotivated to do things and I feel like it has to do with the fact that I'm not I'm touch with my masculinity. My masculinity is nowhere to be found... At school I got some friends who I hang with, I don't seem lonely at school but I am. When someone disrespects me I react really impulsive and my adrenaline just shoots up...I want to become masculine and a man finally. I do not want to end up being 40 and having only slept with 2 girls in my life or being disrespected or lonely. How can I become masculine and cure all the things I mentioned above ? What steps do I take.. And if you have other things to say, everything is welcome at this point..