The other day i ended my semi abusive/manipulative relationship. Here are some things to look out for.
So for some backstory, my girlfriend and I dated for about 1 year. As for the semi abusive part, everything she did I’m not sure if she did anything maliciously, but it’s sort of common sense.
She would pinch me, and telling her i don’t like it or that it hurt would not stop her.
She’s spit in my face. She said she didn’t do it to he mean, but come on now.
She has climbed on top of me when she was angry and started to jokingly choke me. I knew she was playing around at first but she started to tighten for a half second and i practically threw her off of me.
Usually you tend to make excuses for the things your SO may do to you. I still do this at times. If you ever find yourself making excuses for your SO when they make you uncomfortable, this is a red flag.
If you ever find yourself in the middle of a lot of double standards, this is a red flag. I’m not sure if I’m using the term double standards correctly, but here’s an example. My girlfriend was allowed to have a profile picture of only herself and not a picture of me and her. When i changed mine to a picture of just me, it was a problem.
Also, if you ever find yourself saying the word “allowed” red flag.
Finding yourself feeling bad for doing things not involving your SO. This is very vague so let me clear this one up. You shouldn’t feel bad about hanging out with your friends instead of your SO. Unless of course you had plans with your SO.
Always being the one to blame. There will be times it’s your fault, and you will need to realize those times. But it shouldn’t be your fault every time. If you are always being blamed for some sort of problem, red flag.
At the end of the day. Things may get rocky. You guys will have an argument every now and then (argument, or disagreement. It should never be a fight.); however when you think you’ve been arguing too much, it’s time to have a talk.
Hopefully this helps anyone in a relationship, or anyone who wants to be in one, as i personally could have saved a lot of stress if i had known all this earlier.
Submitted July 04, 2019 at 12:37AM
So for some backstory, my girlfriend and I dated for about 1 year. As for the semi abusive part, everything she did I’m not sure if she did anything maliciously, but it’s sort of common sense.She would pinch me, and telling her i don’t like it or that it hurt would not stop her.She’s spit in my face. She said she didn’t do it to he mean, but come on now.She has climbed on top of me when she was angry and started to jokingly choke me. I knew she was playing around at first but she started to tighten for a half second and i practically threw her off of me.Usually you tend to make excuses for the things your SO may do to you. I still do this at times. If you ever find yourself making excuses for your SO when they make you uncomfortable, this is a red flag.If you ever find yourself in the middle of a lot of double standards, this is a red flag. I’m not sure if I’m using the term double standards correctly, but here’s an example. My girlfriend was allowed to have a profile picture of only herself and not a picture of me and her. When i changed mine to a picture of just me, it was a problem.Also, if you ever find yourself saying the word “allowed” red flag.Finding yourself feeling bad for doing things not involving your SO. This is very vague so let me clear this one up. You shouldn’t feel bad about hanging out with your friends instead of your SO. Unless of course you had plans with your SO.Always being the one to blame. There will be times it’s your fault, and you will need to realize those times. But it shouldn’t be your fault every time. If you are always being blamed for some sort of problem, red flag.At the end of the day. Things may get rocky. You guys will have an argument every now and then (argument, or disagreement. It should never be a fight.); however when you think you’ve been arguing too much, it’s time to have a talk.Hopefully this helps anyone in a relationship, or anyone who wants to be in one, as i personally could have saved a lot of stress if i had known all this earlier.
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