A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute rescheduling for me 32 (F)

I (32 F) have been working on making friends using the app Bumble and have been setting up some friend first dates because or this. My SILs birthday is this weekend and I have been asking what we are doing for it, and even offered to help plan it multiple times since I know planning isn't her strongest attribute. Plans dont get made, as always, after asking multiple times. This weekend one of my bumble friends will be in town for a beauty appointment on Saturday and wanted to meet up for lunch. I checked with my husband and still no response from anyone about plans. I tell him that I am going to make lunch plans because no one can make up their mind about his sister birthday.

Today I get a text about a brunch for his sisters birthday that is planned for the exact time of my lunch date. I left the entire rest of the weekend open to accommodate for this but now am I expected to change my plans to revolve around the birthday plans?

I dont want to flake on my Bumble friend since we have not met before but I also want to go with my husband to brunch because I feel obligated. I am really sick of the lack of planning on everyone's part on his side of the family. This is not the first time I have had to reschedule things in my life to accommodate last minute plans.

There are other issues revolving around this like her timeliness to things that are planned and my husband avoiding confrontation to the point that he lacks showing emotion. I just am so frustrated that I dont know what to do.

TL;DR - husbands family keeps planning things last minute and screwing up already made plans.



Submitted July 04, 2019 at 12:08AM

I (32 F) have been working on making friends using the app Bumble and have been setting up some friend first dates because or this. My SILs birthday is this weekend and I have been asking what we are doing for it, and even offered to help plan it multiple times since I know planning isn't her strongest attribute. Plans dont get made, as always, after asking multiple times. This weekend one of my bumble friends will be in town for a beauty appointment on Saturday and wanted to meet up for lunch. I checked with my husband and still no response from anyone about plans. I tell him that I am going to make lunch plans because no one can make up their mind about his sister birthday.Today I get a text about a brunch for his sisters birthday that is planned for the exact time of my lunch date. I left the entire rest of the weekend open to accommodate for this but now am I expected to change my plans to revolve around the birthday plans?I dont want to flake on my Bumble friend since we have not met before but I also want to go with my husband to brunch because I feel obligated. I am really sick of the lack of planning on everyone's part on his side of the family. This is not the first time I have had to reschedule things in my life to accommodate last minute plans.There are other issues revolving around this like her timeliness to things that are planned and my husband avoiding confrontation to the point that he lacks showing emotion. I just am so frustrated that I dont know what to do.TL;DR - husbands family keeps planning things last minute and screwing up already made plans.
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