Is it ok if I dont want to be friends with a person I was friends with benifits with?

Backstory, I got a drink with a women I work with. We madeout afterwards in the parking lot. We go out on a few dates and have sex. She tells me she's dating someone else and she'll let me know if it gets serious. She invites me to her birthday party but acts distant, and a week later I find out from a friend, she's now exclusive with the other guy. I talk to her and tell her how it bothered me she wasn't the person to tell me but I've moved on and I'm not very upset.

We stay friendly. We even go out for drinks with other people from work. Nothing happens until a few weeks later. She tells me this story about how her new boyfriend got mad at her, because a male friend stayed at her place for the weekend and cooked her dinner. She thinks he is too controlling and is thinking about dumping him. She cheats on him with me and dumps him by text. We see each other casually for a couple weeks. She tells me she doesn't want to be in a relationship and doesn't want to date anyone, but she does want to be friends with benifits with me. I wasn't taking it seriously either and I was really down for this arrangement. A few weeks goes by, we go out, have fun, have lots of sex, and it's great.

I think we started to get too close for her comfort. She slowly starts distancing herself. Fewer texts. Longer time in between seeing each other. This lasts for a few weeks. We haven't talked in a few days and haven't had sex in a while.

I've learned a lot about her, she gets sloppy drunk all the time, she likes to have unprotected sex with random guys, and she exhibits sneaky behavior. At this point, I don't know if I really want a friendship with her. I think all I'm willing to offer is sex once in a while, no emotions. At work she's well liked. She seems like a nice person who just likes to have some fun. I see her passive aggressiveness and slightly manipulative behavior. I'll see her at work and we have mutual friends so I'll see her at social gatherings too. I don't know how I feel about the whole situation. I don't know if I even want to talk to her. I dont know if I was expecting too much from her, but her distancing me twice pisses me off and kinda hurts.

My questions for you are: Should I talk to her and tell her what I'm thinking or let it go? Ignore her? Pretend like nothing is wrong so I might be able to get laid at some point? Would a friendship even work after a while?



Submitted July 25, 2019 at 11:43PM

Backstory, I got a drink with a women I work with. We madeout afterwards in the parking lot. We go out on a few dates and have sex. She tells me she's dating someone else and she'll let me know if it gets serious. She invites me to her birthday party but acts distant, and a week later I find out from a friend, she's now exclusive with the other guy. I talk to her and tell her how it bothered me she wasn't the person to tell me but I've moved on and I'm not very upset.We stay friendly. We even go out for drinks with other people from work. Nothing happens until a few weeks later. She tells me this story about how her new boyfriend got mad at her, because a male friend stayed at her place for the weekend and cooked her dinner. She thinks he is too controlling and is thinking about dumping him. She cheats on him with me and dumps him by text. We see each other casually for a couple weeks. She tells me she doesn't want to be in a relationship and doesn't want to date anyone, but she does want to be friends with benifits with me. I wasn't taking it seriously either and I was really down for this arrangement. A few weeks goes by, we go out, have fun, have lots of sex, and it's great.I think we started to get too close for her comfort. She slowly starts distancing herself. Fewer texts. Longer time in between seeing each other. This lasts for a few weeks. We haven't talked in a few days and haven't had sex in a while.I've learned a lot about her, she gets sloppy drunk all the time, she likes to have unprotected sex with random guys, and she exhibits sneaky behavior. At this point, I don't know if I really want a friendship with her. I think all I'm willing to offer is sex once in a while, no emotions. At work she's well liked. She seems like a nice person who just likes to have some fun. I see her passive aggressiveness and slightly manipulative behavior. I'll see her at work and we have mutual friends so I'll see her at social gatherings too. I don't know how I feel about the whole situation. I don't know if I even want to talk to her. I dont know if I was expecting too much from her, but her distancing me twice pisses me off and kinda hurts.My questions for you are: Should I talk to her and tell her what I'm thinking or let it go? Ignore her? Pretend like nothing is wrong so I might be able to get laid at some point? Would a friendship even work after a while?
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