Should I give this guy a chance?

I've been single since November after a pretty tumultuous relationship and a really difficult breakup with my ex. Since then I've been on a few dates and had some fwb situations but nothing even remotely close to serious. Overall I'm genuinely enjoying being on my own, especially since this is a crazy time for me-- I just graduated college and will be moving an hour and a half away in a few days so a lot in my life is changing rapidly or up in the air.

I had a night out with my roommates a little over a week ago and they had some of their buddies come through for it. One of them was a pretty nice dude, not traditionally someone I would be interested but not unattractive and not completely obnoxious. As the night went on and the drinks stacked up he got pretty flirtatious with me and another one of my roommates, at the end we exchanged numbers and he called me today to ask me out. Initially, I panicked and turned him down, blaming it on being tied up packing but now that I've had a minute to reflect something's telling me that I shouldn't have.

I'm young and I wholeheartedly believe that I should push my comfort zone and try new things but I'm having reservations mostly because he's a friend of my roommate and I felt like he wasn't initially hitting on just me which put some doubt in my mind, however, that could just be attributed to the group setting and me misconstruing what his version of being friendly is. I think the biggest thing that's been holding me back is the fear of going out with him, irritating my roommate and damaging our friendship as well as the fear of going out with him, really liking him, and ending up sucked into a relationship. I've noticed that my whole life I've been a bit of a serial monogamist and will jump headfirst into a serious relationship without looking at the red flags or deciding if it's a good thing for me at the time. I don't want to want to commit to someone especially if I'm moving to a new city and want to meet new people in that city.

Am I being too cautious? Should I leave it be and reevaluate after I've moved or should I call him up tomorrow, tell him I've finished my packing early and ask him for a drink. Any advice would be awesome, I feel like I'm too in my head for this one and need an outside perspective.

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Tl;dr - A guy wants to take me out but I'm currently terrified of commitment, unsure about him and will be moving in a few days. Help!



Submitted June 21, 2019 at 11:23PM

I've been single since November after a pretty tumultuous relationship and a really difficult breakup with my ex. Since then I've been on a few dates and had some fwb situations but nothing even remotely close to serious. Overall I'm genuinely enjoying being on my own, especially since this is a crazy time for me-- I just graduated college and will be moving an hour and a half away in a few days so a lot in my life is changing rapidly or up in the air.I had a night out with my roommates a little over a week ago and they had some of their buddies come through for it. One of them was a pretty nice dude, not traditionally someone I would be interested but not unattractive and not completely obnoxious. As the night went on and the drinks stacked up he got pretty flirtatious with me and another one of my roommates, at the end we exchanged numbers and he called me today to ask me out. Initially, I panicked and turned him down, blaming it on being tied up packing but now that I've had a minute to reflect something's telling me that I shouldn't have.I'm young and I wholeheartedly believe that I should push my comfort zone and try new things but I'm having reservations mostly because he's a friend of my roommate and I felt like he wasn't initially hitting on just me which put some doubt in my mind, however, that could just be attributed to the group setting and me misconstruing what his version of being friendly is. I think the biggest thing that's been holding me back is the fear of going out with him, irritating my roommate and damaging our friendship as well as the fear of going out with him, really liking him, and ending up sucked into a relationship. I've noticed that my whole life I've been a bit of a serial monogamist and will jump headfirst into a serious relationship without looking at the red flags or deciding if it's a good thing for me at the time. I don't want to want to commit to someone especially if I'm moving to a new city and want to meet new people in that city.Am I being too cautious? Should I leave it be and reevaluate after I've moved or should I call him up tomorrow, tell him I've finished my packing early and ask him for a drink. Any advice would be awesome, I feel like I'm too in my head for this one and need an outside perspective.​Tl;dr - A guy wants to take me out but I'm currently terrified of commitment, unsure about him and will be moving in a few days. Help!
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