Any advice for a college virgin?

I’m painfully awkward, I’ve never had my first kiss either, never held hands with a girl and I’ve never even been friends with a girl. Pathetic, I know. While everyone was hanging out and slowly cracking their awkwardness shell, I was continuing to be reserved, shy, and just away from it all. Kids started to really start talking and getting to know the opposite sex back in middle school, and I remained the same — depressed and quiet. I never mustered up the courage to even ask a girl to hang out at the movies or anything of the sort. Throughout highschool even though I liked a few girls and talked to them in class (just small talk), I never could ask any of them to hang out outside of school either. Every year of highschool I always promised myself that it would be different and I would try to socialize and put myself out there, and every year I betrayed myself and remained painfully shy, with hardly any friends. The regret of it all just eats away at me, non-stop, 24-7.

It’s honestly mind blowing that time has flown this fast, I started highschool in August 2013 and I thought I had all the time in the world, and now I’m just freaking out. I’ve been in college for almost two years and it’s been the exact same. Still no female friends, and all my other male friends are off to college in other states. My life is just completely pathetic and I don’t even know where to start. I’m 20 years old.

Don’t know why I’m posting here but I just need to get this off my chest, I’ve never talked about this with anyone. The regret is the worst it’s ever been. I feel like I’m not even living in the present, I’m just living in some strange limbo where I think I’ll just wake up the next morning in 2013 for the first day of high school.

Submitted June 22, 2019 at 12:08AM

I’m painfully awkward, I’ve never had my first kiss either, never held hands with a girl and I’ve never even been friends with a girl. Pathetic, I know. While everyone was hanging out and slowly cracking their awkwardness shell, I was continuing to be reserved, shy, and just away from it all. Kids started to really start talking and getting to know the opposite sex back in middle school, and I remained the same — depressed and quiet. I never mustered up the courage to even ask a girl to hang out at the movies or anything of the sort. Throughout highschool even though I liked a few girls and talked to them in class (just small talk), I never could ask any of them to hang out outside of school either. Every year of highschool I always promised myself that it would be different and I would try to socialize and put myself out there, and every year I betrayed myself and remained painfully shy, with hardly any friends. The regret of it all just eats away at me, non-stop, 24-7.It’s honestly mind blowing that time has flown this fast, I started highschool in August 2013 and I thought I had all the time in the world, and now I’m just freaking out. I’ve been in college for almost two years and it’s been the exact same. Still no female friends, and all my other male friends are off to college in other states. My life is just completely pathetic and I don’t even know where to start. I’m 20 years old.Don’t know why I’m posting here but I just need to get this off my chest, I’ve never talked about this with anyone. The regret is the worst it’s ever been. I feel like I’m not even living in the present, I’m just living in some strange limbo where I think I’ll just wake up the next morning in 2013 for the first day of high school.