Living in Denial

I gotta say, I tried. I fucking tried. I believed in the myth of love concurs all. I took responsibility for myself and my actions and in the end, dear god help me, all of my hard work showed me that I married a man who is a narcissist.

The instant I start talking about anything remotely personal, he interrupts and shuts me down. If I get my courage up and ask him to participate in our relationship differently, he turns the conversation around until it’s about how I need to change. If I find something, anything, that isn’t sitting on the couch next to him, he makes fun of it until I stop doing it. He finds reasons why he thinks my friends suck and lists them. If I take classes, he suddenly wants to have a ‘date night’ when I have class - no other time - just right then. We watch what he wants to watch, if I leave the room to watch something else, eventually he will come find me and start talking through whatever show/movie I’m involved in watching. He deliberately tells me the ending of movies he’s seen and knows I haven’t seen. He’s lazy af, does next to nothing around the house and the bare minimum with the kids, and wants everyone to admire how he does everything. He’s not a partner, emotionally or physically. We haven’t had sex in nearly 2 years, but at this point, I wouldn’t want him to touch me.

I fucking hate this. I hate being trapped in this situation. I’m working on extraction. I think he will go scorched earth when I leave. I don’t want to fight, and I’m willing to give up damn near everything to get out. No spousal support, no child support. Just handle the debt he has and written into the custody agreement that his mother and her husband are never alone with the kids.

That’s it. I just want out. I just want it over.

TL/DR: husband is a narcissist, world revolves around him, my thoughts, opinions, needs, values don’t matter.

Submitted June 16, 2019 at 12:07AM

I gotta say, I tried. I fucking tried. I believed in the myth of love concurs all. I took responsibility for myself and my actions and in the end, dear god help me, all of my hard work showed me that I married a man who is a narcissist.The instant I start talking about anything remotely personal, he interrupts and shuts me down. If I get my courage up and ask him to participate in our relationship differently, he turns the conversation around until it’s about how I need to change. If I find something, anything, that isn’t sitting on the couch next to him, he makes fun of it until I stop doing it. He finds reasons why he thinks my friends suck and lists them. If I take classes, he suddenly wants to have a ‘date night’ when I have class - no other time - just right then. We watch what he wants to watch, if I leave the room to watch something else, eventually he will come find me and start talking through whatever show/movie I’m involved in watching. He deliberately tells me the ending of movies he’s seen and knows I haven’t seen. He’s lazy af, does next to nothing around the house and the bare minimum with the kids, and wants everyone to admire how he does everything. He’s not a partner, emotionally or physically. We haven’t had sex in nearly 2 years, but at this point, I wouldn’t want him to touch me.I fucking hate this. I hate being trapped in this situation. I’m working on extraction. I think he will go scorched earth when I leave. I don’t want to fight, and I’m willing to give up damn near everything to get out. No spousal support, no child support. Just handle the debt he has and written into the custody agreement that his mother and her husband are never alone with the kids.That’s it. I just want out. I just want it over.TL/DR: husband is a narcissist, world revolves around him, my thoughts, opinions, needs, values don’t matter.