How to avoid insecurity?

I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible, given my predicament. TL;DR in the end.

So, this involves two women in my life: my FWB, I'll call her "A", and this other girl, I'll call her "B".

A and I have this very cool friendship with benefits: we both see each other as just friends, have talked about it and neither have feelings or even think we'd work out as a couple, given our different personalities. So it's all good in this front.

On the other hand, B and I have recently started talking and going out again (we went out a couple of years ago, but for reasons not important here, we didn't go past a second date). Now, we connected really well in both a physical and emotional way, but because we don't wanna ruin things, we decided to just enjoy what we have instead of going straight to a relationship. We decided that if any of us were to develop feelings, we'd talk about it and decide what to do.

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced A to B and they hit it off quite well I assume, given that they made out for a long time that evening. At the time I didn't really mind, because I had only gone out with B once and even though I thought we really hit it off, I had no feelings for her. They even set up a date for tonight, which, again, I was very ok with.

My problem is, since my last date with B, that started on Thursday evening and ended this morning, I think I started having feelings for her. I didn't tell her anything yet because I think it's too soon and I want to be sure of what I feel and how that changes things for me before I go to her with it. I'll probably do it next time we go out. But now I can't help but to feel insecure because of their date tonight.

They are both amazing women and I'm afraid B will just lose her interest in me after their date. I have no real reason to feel like this so far, given that B already told me how she's looking forward to our next date and even made some sort of plan for a future date with me, but still, I'm aware that things change and she might want to follow those plans with A instead of me after tonight.

Have anyone been in a similar situation? How can I cope with my insecurity or even eliminate it not just in this situation, but future ones as well? I appreciate deeply any insight.

​

TL;DR - My FWB (A) and a girl I'm developing feelings for (B) are going on a date right now and I feel insecure regarding B's continuing interest in me following tonight. I don't like this insecurity and want to deal with it.



Submitted June 22, 2019 at 11:52PM

I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible, given my predicament. TL;DR in the end.So, this involves two women in my life: my FWB, I'll call her "A", and this other girl, I'll call her "B".A and I have this very cool friendship with benefits: we both see each other as just friends, have talked about it and neither have feelings or even think we'd work out as a couple, given our different personalities. So it's all good in this front.On the other hand, B and I have recently started talking and going out again (we went out a couple of years ago, but for reasons not important here, we didn't go past a second date). Now, we connected really well in both a physical and emotional way, but because we don't wanna ruin things, we decided to just enjoy what we have instead of going straight to a relationship. We decided that if any of us were to develop feelings, we'd talk about it and decide what to do.A couple of weeks ago, I introduced A to B and they hit it off quite well I assume, given that they made out for a long time that evening. At the time I didn't really mind, because I had only gone out with B once and even though I thought we really hit it off, I had no feelings for her. They even set up a date for tonight, which, again, I was very ok with.My problem is, since my last date with B, that started on Thursday evening and ended this morning, I think I started having feelings for her. I didn't tell her anything yet because I think it's too soon and I want to be sure of what I feel and how that changes things for me before I go to her with it. I'll probably do it next time we go out. But now I can't help but to feel insecure because of their date tonight.They are both amazing women and I'm afraid B will just lose her interest in me after their date. I have no real reason to feel like this so far, given that B already told me how she's looking forward to our next date and even made some sort of plan for a future date with me, but still, I'm aware that things change and she might want to follow those plans with A instead of me after tonight.Have anyone been in a similar situation? How can I cope with my insecurity or even eliminate it not just in this situation, but future ones as well? I appreciate deeply any insight.​TL;DR - My FWB (A) and a girl I'm developing feelings for (B) are going on a date right now and I feel insecure regarding B's continuing interest in me following tonight. I don't like this insecurity and want to deal with it.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more