How long to wait before dating after a relationship??

Hey all. 28/M here.

I got out of an 8-month relationship with a (29/F) about a month ago. It ended suddenly, there were no obvious problems leading up to the event. We had a disappointment, which seemed to flip a switch for her and she ultimately decided she didn't want the relationship anymore. The breakup was drawn out because she did it over text while on a trip out-of-state, and her car was parked at my place so a post-breakup meeting was inevitable. She is on my mind a good amount of the time, right now.

Anyway, it's been about a month, maybe a couple days shy of 30 days. Everyone I know is asking me about dating, if I'm getting back out there or whatever. I know that I was definitely not ready in these past few weeks, but last night I decided to download Tinder and OKCupid.

Don't crucify me here, but definitely not ready to start anything serious. Just looking for more casual-type experiences, whether that means just going out for drinks or even casual sex... whatever. Just, not ready to start committing to another person.

I've been given a ton of advice that is very conflicting. Some say I should wait, which is what I have normally done in the past, but others are telling me to start getting out there. But one thing I do hear from those who are encouraging me to "get back out there" are saying it's important not to compare these new women to my ex and just try to have fun. Easier said than done, but I figure I can manage.

Is this too soon, am I making a mistake? What do you all think? Any advice?



Submitted June 10, 2019 at 11:54PM

Hey all. 28/M here.I got out of an 8-month relationship with a (29/F) about a month ago. It ended suddenly, there were no obvious problems leading up to the event. We had a disappointment, which seemed to flip a switch for her and she ultimately decided she didn't want the relationship anymore. The breakup was drawn out because she did it over text while on a trip out-of-state, and her car was parked at my place so a post-breakup meeting was inevitable. She is on my mind a good amount of the time, right now.Anyway, it's been about a month, maybe a couple days shy of 30 days. Everyone I know is asking me about dating, if I'm getting back out there or whatever. I know that I was definitely not ready in these past few weeks, but last night I decided to download Tinder and OKCupid.Don't crucify me here, but definitely not ready to start anything serious. Just looking for more casual-type experiences, whether that means just going out for drinks or even casual sex... whatever. Just, not ready to start committing to another person.I've been given a ton of advice that is very conflicting. Some say I should wait, which is what I have normally done in the past, but others are telling me to start getting out there. But one thing I do hear from those who are encouraging me to "get back out there" are saying it's important not to compare these new women to my ex and just try to have fun. Easier said than done, but I figure I can manage.Is this too soon, am I making a mistake? What do you all think? Any advice?
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