Girl hung up on ex.

I met this girl and we started talking. We got along really well and had a bunch of things in common. Everything was going perfect. We went on a first date and then a second the next day. Then, the day after the second date, she ghosted me.

I started freaking out and trying to piece together what the hell I did wrong. I thought everything was going smoothly. She messaged me the day after and told me that she wasn't looking for anything and wasn't in a good place. Never explained anything further. We kept talking just as "friends" and still have been.

We follow eachother on Instagram and I noticed she had liked one of those "relatable" heartbroken text pictures about "missing the memories but not him" etc. Went to the page and saw she had liked a bunch of those same pics about missing an ex/still having feelings/whatever you can think might be in one of those pictures, including pictures that had been uploaded to the page before we went on our dates or even started talking.

She still has never talked about to me about him as the reason for her doing an emotional 180 but it's incredibly frustrating. When we were talking before our dates she would jokingly mention things like sleeping at my house (I live like a minute by her work and it normally takes her like a half hour to get there), future double dates with her friends, visiting different states to watch our favorite hockey team play, going to an amusement park she loves in Cali, etc. w/o me ever bringing any of that up. Even when we went on the two dates the vibe was still the same. She was the one that asked about the second date towards the end of the first.

If you're hung up on an ex, don't drag someone else down with you, or at least be honest with the new person. I've been there. It's difficult to get over an ex, especially one you loved. But, don't add another person to that turmoil without thinking it through and how it might affect you or the new person. She clearly was still hung up before she hit me up and never once let me know what was actually going on. All she did was feign giving me something she couldn't give and then took it away faster than Thanos snapped half the universe out of existence.

The only way I could've looked at the situation with what she was saying and doing was that everything was going right and something good would come out of me caring. (Mind you I rarely date, can't stand a lot of people in my generation or how they act towards dating. This is now another prime example of the selfishness and immaturity I see in a lot of people my age). If she had just said something like "Hey, I like you but we need to go slow. I just got out of something and am still healing from it. I need you to be patient with me, my feelings, and this situation and if you can't handle that then we should probably stop," it would have made far more sense and been a lot healthier than to have dove head first like she did without thinking about how what she was saying and doing would make me feel, and then basically just push me to the side out of nowhere. We haven't hung out since our last date (it's been around 2 weeks) and just kind of talk now (no where near how we used to, and when we do it's pretty one sided. I'm the only one asking how her day was, what she's up to, etc.). She doesn't seem to care and/or realize that she fucked up. She seems to still like me (she'll message me first some days, talk about things she's excited about, etc) but now I'm just like the thing for her to hold onto until she's ready to try again. And I've kind of had enough of it.

The most ironic part is that one of the pictures she liked was about how, "open communication and honesty go a long way," yet she can't be honest with me and let me know out of the gate what I'm in for and what she's looking for.

Alright, done venting.

Submitted June 10, 2019 at 11:45PM

I met this girl and we started talking. We got along really well and had a bunch of things in common. Everything was going perfect. We went on a first date and then a second the next day. Then, the day after the second date, she ghosted me.I started freaking out and trying to piece together what the hell I did wrong. I thought everything was going smoothly. She messaged me the day after and told me that she wasn't looking for anything and wasn't in a good place. Never explained anything further. We kept talking just as "friends" and still have been.We follow eachother on Instagram and I noticed she had liked one of those "relatable" heartbroken text pictures about "missing the memories but not him" etc. Went to the page and saw she had liked a bunch of those same pics about missing an ex/still having feelings/whatever you can think might be in one of those pictures, including pictures that had been uploaded to the page before we went on our dates or even started talking.She still has never talked about to me about him as the reason for her doing an emotional 180 but it's incredibly frustrating. When we were talking before our dates she would jokingly mention things like sleeping at my house (I live like a minute by her work and it normally takes her like a half hour to get there), future double dates with her friends, visiting different states to watch our favorite hockey team play, going to an amusement park she loves in Cali, etc. w/o me ever bringing any of that up. Even when we went on the two dates the vibe was still the same. She was the one that asked about the second date towards the end of the first.If you're hung up on an ex, don't drag someone else down with you, or at least be honest with the new person. I've been there. It's difficult to get over an ex, especially one you loved. But, don't add another person to that turmoil without thinking it through and how it might affect you or the new person. She clearly was still hung up before she hit me up and never once let me know what was actually going on. All she did was feign giving me something she couldn't give and then took it away faster than Thanos snapped half the universe out of existence.The only way I could've looked at the situation with what she was saying and doing was that everything was going right and something good would come out of me caring. (Mind you I rarely date, can't stand a lot of people in my generation or how they act towards dating. This is now another prime example of the selfishness and immaturity I see in a lot of people my age). If she had just said something like "Hey, I like you but we need to go slow. I just got out of something and am still healing from it. I need you to be patient with me, my feelings, and this situation and if you can't handle that then we should probably stop," it would have made far more sense and been a lot healthier than to have dove head first like she did without thinking about how what she was saying and doing would make me feel, and then basically just push me to the side out of nowhere. We haven't hung out since our last date (it's been around 2 weeks) and just kind of talk now (no where near how we used to, and when we do it's pretty one sided. I'm the only one asking how her day was, what she's up to, etc.). She doesn't seem to care and/or realize that she fucked up. She seems to still like me (she'll message me first some days, talk about things she's excited about, etc) but now I'm just like the thing for her to hold onto until she's ready to try again. And I've kind of had enough of it.The most ironic part is that one of the pictures she liked was about how, "open communication and honesty go a long way," yet she can't be honest with me and let me know out of the gate what I'm in for and what she's looking for.Alright, done venting.