My boyfriend touches me in my sleep. How do I proceed?

A while ago after I woke up my boyfriend told me that when I was sleeping he started fondling my boobs and was touching my butthole but realized what he was doing was wrong and stopped. I felt uncomfortable when he told me but he made it sound like it wasn’t going to happen again and I appreciated him telling me because otherwise I never would have known.

But then the other day I was sleeping and I woke up to him rubbing my clit and touching my boobs and I didn’t want to get up and was shocked so I didn’t move and tried to go back to sleep. He talked about it later and was like you were awake right? And I told him I wasn’t and he lied to my face saying that he had only touched me over my clothes and for only a few seconds. I didn’t want to argue with him because if I told him I was actually awake he would probably try to say that’s why he did it but I was woken up by it.

I feel violated but I don’t know if those were the only two times he’s ever done it because if he told me both times they might be the only instances. I also don’t know if I can even be that mad because he didn’t penetrate me or anything I just sorta got fondled. But I still feel less safe when I go to sleep next to him. He also has told me he’s kissed me in my sleep before but that doesn’t bother me.

I don’t know how to organize my thoughts or whether I am overreacting or if I should have to bring it up ever again. I told him I felt weird about it last time and if he felt bad enough to lie maybe he realizes he can’t do it again.

Submitted November 06, 2021 at 12:19AM

A while ago after I woke up my boyfriend told me that when I was sleeping he started fondling my boobs and was touching my butthole but realized what he was doing was wrong and stopped. I felt uncomfortable when he told me but he made it sound like it wasn’t going to happen again and I appreciated him telling me because otherwise I never would have known.But then the other day I was sleeping and I woke up to him rubbing my clit and touching my boobs and I didn’t want to get up and was shocked so I didn’t move and tried to go back to sleep. He talked about it later and was like you were awake right? And I told him I wasn’t and he lied to my face saying that he had only touched me over my clothes and for only a few seconds. I didn’t want to argue with him because if I told him I was actually awake he would probably try to say that’s why he did it but I was woken up by it.I feel violated but I don’t know if those were the only two times he’s ever done it because if he told me both times they might be the only instances. I also don’t know if I can even be that mad because he didn’t penetrate me or anything I just sorta got fondled. But I still feel less safe when I go to sleep next to him. He also has told me he’s kissed me in my sleep before but that doesn’t bother me.I don’t know how to organize my thoughts or whether I am overreacting or if I should have to bring it up ever again. I told him I felt weird about it last time and if he felt bad enough to lie maybe he realizes he can’t do it again.