Initiating sex with my (M21) girlfriend (F21) after her trauma

A year ago my (M21) gf (f 21) was sexually assaulted. Its been four years together this past May. We haven't had sex at all in the last year because she wasn't ready. A couple of days ago she told me that she wanted to try but didn't want to make a big deal about it so told me to just be normal. Last night I tried to initiate and she totally freaked. We were cuddling and watching the game. I get an erection every time we cuddle, the way she was sitting I knew that she could feel it and she did eventually make a sexual comment about it which is where I thought felt like an ok place to initiate. I didn't even go super fast. I was literally just doing shit like stroking her arm, rubbing her thighs and kissing her neck because I was kinda positioned behind her the way we were sitting. I put my hand underneath her shirt...I just rested it on her stomach because going straight for boob felt like an asshole thing to do so I went up and down her rib cage with my finger nowhere near her boob at all and then she just bailed. Said she wasn't ready and that she was really sorry and I said not to worry about it we can just actually watch the game. I made some stupid joke about how I really wanted to watch this game anyway and Idk if that was hurtful or not so I asked her again and she said no but she's been weird around me since then. She insists that she's fine but I don't know if I should try again.



Submitted November 12, 2021 at 12:54AM

A year ago my (M21) gf (f 21) was sexually assaulted. Its been four years together this past May. We haven't had sex at all in the last year because she wasn't ready. A couple of days ago she told me that she wanted to try but didn't want to make a big deal about it so told me to just be normal. Last night I tried to initiate and she totally freaked. We were cuddling and watching the game. I get an erection every time we cuddle, the way she was sitting I knew that she could feel it and she did eventually make a sexual comment about it which is where I thought felt like an ok place to initiate. I didn't even go super fast. I was literally just doing shit like stroking her arm, rubbing her thighs and kissing her neck because I was kinda positioned behind her the way we were sitting. I put my hand underneath her shirt...I just rested it on her stomach because going straight for boob felt like an asshole thing to do so I went up and down her rib cage with my finger nowhere near her boob at all and then she just bailed. Said she wasn't ready and that she was really sorry and I said not to worry about it we can just actually watch the game. I made some stupid joke about how I really wanted to watch this game anyway and Idk if that was hurtful or not so I asked her again and she said no but she's been weird around me since then. She insists that she's fine but I don't know if I should try again.
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