Getting called names

So last week I (30F) thought I just had allergies, this week my boyfriend (34M) has a sore throat just like I had and he's been sick for a few days. Before he got sick I asked him if we could go on a group bicycling event this Friday and he never really gave me a straight answer. He woke up this morning (thursday)and the first thing I asked was how he was feeling. He said fine and we discussed making plans for today. The only indication he was still sick was he said he couldn't smell still so he wanted to eat something with a lot of flavor.

So since he's able to make plans for today I asked if he still wanted to go on the bike ride thing tomorrow. He proceeded to get frustrated with me because "today is the worst he has felt the whole time." I could tell he was mad I asked if I could make him something for breakfast and he said he wanted hot water which we discussed the night before not to use tap water and to only kettle boil it. He got mad again because I brought him hot water that I didn't cool down at all.

After all of this he called me stupid and incompetent because I obviously don't love him enough or anyone but myself to ask more questions and I shouldn't just assume people are telling me the whole story. I told him "I don't like being called stupid, sure you are smarter than I am but that doesn't make me stupid and I don't deserve to be called that." he proceeded to tell me "if someone I believe is smarter than me is calling me stupid I should probably stop and think why they are saying that."

Basically, I need help determining if I really am heartless or I choose my boyfriend ds poorly.

TLDR: he has been sick for a few days. We woke up, I asked how he was feeling. He said fine. He called me stupid and incompetent for not asking more about how he felt.



Submitted November 12, 2021 at 12:14AM

So last week I (30F) thought I just had allergies, this week my boyfriend (34M) has a sore throat just like I had and he's been sick for a few days. Before he got sick I asked him if we could go on a group bicycling event this Friday and he never really gave me a straight answer. He woke up this morning (thursday)and the first thing I asked was how he was feeling. He said fine and we discussed making plans for today. The only indication he was still sick was he said he couldn't smell still so he wanted to eat something with a lot of flavor.So since he's able to make plans for today I asked if he still wanted to go on the bike ride thing tomorrow. He proceeded to get frustrated with me because "today is the worst he has felt the whole time." I could tell he was mad I asked if I could make him something for breakfast and he said he wanted hot water which we discussed the night before not to use tap water and to only kettle boil it. He got mad again because I brought him hot water that I didn't cool down at all.After all of this he called me stupid and incompetent because I obviously don't love him enough or anyone but myself to ask more questions and I shouldn't just assume people are telling me the whole story. I told him "I don't like being called stupid, sure you are smarter than I am but that doesn't make me stupid and I don't deserve to be called that." he proceeded to tell me "if someone I believe is smarter than me is calling me stupid I should probably stop and think why they are saying that."Basically, I need help determining if I really am heartless or I choose my boyfriend ds poorly.TLDR: he has been sick for a few days. We woke up, I asked how he was feeling. He said fine. He called me stupid and incompetent for not asking more about how he felt.
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