Speaking to more then one person at once during early chatting IRL or online feels exhausting to me.

I matched with a girl and we have been chatting for a couple days, but she has been responding 24hrs apart. I dont think its a big deal. We are supposed to be grabbing coffee tomorrow after work. If she shows up then I guess then thats a win and If we click then things would progress. If not then move on.

But then I got another match and started talking to someone else today. A little more responsive. Only a couple texts. Convo is back on me, but honestly I feel like waiting to respond.

I only have so much social energy. I also stay busy enough that planning out dates with more then one person in a week might be exhausting.

For instance if a conversation is going well on a dating app, but I'm already seeing someone on a date, I'd feel cautious to focus too much on it until the first date with the other person.

And if a date went well and a 2nd date was scheduled It would feel like a lot to try to get a first date with someone else.

So pretty much I have a hard time thinking about having dates planned with more then one person at a time. Which might put me at a disadvantage.

And I also cant ghost people. I would feel to bad. I'd rather have a reason so they arent left wondering.

But.... at the same time I'm thinking I may need to learn to do this. There is no real commitment in these situations. Its like if I ran into someone IRL and got their number. What if I ran into someone later that week and we clicked and I got their number.

That is HIGHLY unlikely for me. Im a 28m who is average looking.

But if Im talking to someone on a dating app, that shouldnt stop me from talking with women IRL. But when a date is scheduled I get weird and dont want to talk with other people, but that seems kinda dumb?

thoughts?



Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:16AM

I matched with a girl and we have been chatting for a couple days, but she has been responding 24hrs apart. I dont think its a big deal. We are supposed to be grabbing coffee tomorrow after work. If she shows up then I guess then thats a win and If we click then things would progress. If not then move on.But then I got another match and started talking to someone else today. A little more responsive. Only a couple texts. Convo is back on me, but honestly I feel like waiting to respond.I only have so much social energy. I also stay busy enough that planning out dates with more then one person in a week might be exhausting.For instance if a conversation is going well on a dating app, but I'm already seeing someone on a date, I'd feel cautious to focus too much on it until the first date with the other person.And if a date went well and a 2nd date was scheduled It would feel like a lot to try to get a first date with someone else.So pretty much I have a hard time thinking about having dates planned with more then one person at a time. Which might put me at a disadvantage.And I also cant ghost people. I would feel to bad. I'd rather have a reason so they arent left wondering.But.... at the same time I'm thinking I may need to learn to do this. There is no real commitment in these situations. Its like if I ran into someone IRL and got their number. What if I ran into someone later that week and we clicked and I got their number.That is HIGHLY unlikely for me. Im a 28m who is average looking.But if Im talking to someone on a dating app, that shouldnt stop me from talking with women IRL. But when a date is scheduled I get weird and dont want to talk with other people, but that seems kinda dumb?thoughts?
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