My [24M] FWB [24F] had a bit of a falling out a couple weeks ago and we haven't spoken since. I still want to remain friends. Should I reach out to end things on a good note?

We were friends for a couple of years and occasionally had sex when we were horny and single. She's a really cool girl and we have lots in common, but I don't really have that emotional connection with her and never saw us being a full blown couple.

I could always tell when something was up. She would slowly start flaking more, then eventually just decline all hangouts from there on. Getting flaked on kind of irked me the wrong way but we were just casually having sex so I never really made a big deal about it.

Our last FWB stint lasted about 6 months and nearing the end I saw the same process repeating. Less hangouts, flaking more etc. The last hangout we had scheduled she cancelled on me 30 minutes before because "her leg hurt".

This was the straw that broke the camels back for me and I kind of drilled into her. I was really busy that weekend so fitting in our hangout plan took a lot of coordination on my end with friends and family. To have it cancelled last minute really pissed me off. I went off on her about her flakiness, told her it was disrespectful to waste my time like that etc.

She responded apologizing pretty profusely, but I just responded by reacting to her messages with a heart emoji. This was two weeks ago and we haven't spoken since.

Part of this lined up pretty good. I've had a lot of work related stress which then caused a pretty severe bacne breakout. I need to take some time to clear up this bacne and work on my mental health before I'm comfortable taking my shirt off and being intimate with someone.

Despite all of this, she's a really cool girl and I have had nothing but good times with her. I still would like to consider her a friend going forwards and it really makes me feel bad ending very positive times together with an angry conversation and just silence.

I would really like to send her a message just explaining that I think our casual relationship has come to an end, but I really don't want to end things on a sour note. That I think she's a great person and would love to maintain a friendship going forwards.

The thing holding me back from sending this is because I know there's a reason she was being flakey with me. Maybe she's seeing a new dude right now. Maybe because she wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same way, she's doing this to distance herself and remove feelings. I have no idea what it is but people don't just fade for no reason.

Does anyone have any input on this?

Thanks!

tl;dr

FWB is not working out and ended on a sour note. I still like her as a friend and want to clear the air/open up the potential possibility of friendship but I'm worried her flaky behavior was for a good reason and maybe I should just back off and let this one slide



Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:14AM

We were friends for a couple of years and occasionally had sex when we were horny and single. She's a really cool girl and we have lots in common, but I don't really have that emotional connection with her and never saw us being a full blown couple.I could always tell when something was up. She would slowly start flaking more, then eventually just decline all hangouts from there on. Getting flaked on kind of irked me the wrong way but we were just casually having sex so I never really made a big deal about it.Our last FWB stint lasted about 6 months and nearing the end I saw the same process repeating. Less hangouts, flaking more etc. The last hangout we had scheduled she cancelled on me 30 minutes before because "her leg hurt".This was the straw that broke the camels back for me and I kind of drilled into her. I was really busy that weekend so fitting in our hangout plan took a lot of coordination on my end with friends and family. To have it cancelled last minute really pissed me off. I went off on her about her flakiness, told her it was disrespectful to waste my time like that etc.She responded apologizing pretty profusely, but I just responded by reacting to her messages with a heart emoji. This was two weeks ago and we haven't spoken since.Part of this lined up pretty good. I've had a lot of work related stress which then caused a pretty severe bacne breakout. I need to take some time to clear up this bacne and work on my mental health before I'm comfortable taking my shirt off and being intimate with someone.Despite all of this, she's a really cool girl and I have had nothing but good times with her. I still would like to consider her a friend going forwards and it really makes me feel bad ending very positive times together with an angry conversation and just silence.I would really like to send her a message just explaining that I think our casual relationship has come to an end, but I really don't want to end things on a sour note. That I think she's a great person and would love to maintain a friendship going forwards.The thing holding me back from sending this is because I know there's a reason she was being flakey with me. Maybe she's seeing a new dude right now. Maybe because she wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same way, she's doing this to distance herself and remove feelings. I have no idea what it is but people don't just fade for no reason.Does anyone have any input on this?Thanks!tl;drFWB is not working out and ended on a sour note. I still like her as a friend and want to clear the air/open up the potential possibility of friendship but I'm worried her flaky behavior was for a good reason and maybe I should just back off and let this one slide
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