Need advice... Why does sex always feel like it's over after he finishes?

Hey there! Looking for some advice on an uncomfortable situation.

My boyfriend (25 cis-M) and I (25 cis-F) have been together since high school, living together for 3+ years. We have fantastically passionate sex, at least a few times a week. Though I'm noticing as we get older and busier, it gets less frequent and less passionate. (But we're not even old! We're only in our 20s! SOS!) But I'm definitely aware that the decline frequency is due to mostly me and not him. It's not for lack of me wanting to or for him trying to.

During sex, everything feels great. If it doesn't, I tell him. I feel our communication about it is fairly open. But lately, I haven't been able to finish before him, which is whatever, but he also doesn't finish me off after he does. He's made me orgasm countless times before, but it feels like it's been months since the last time.

It's my understanding and experience that it takes more effort and time to make women orgasm. He can last for a while, and stays hard the whole time while putting in that extra effort. I would certainly enjoy a bit more foreplay and teasing first, but we have fun and it feels great. I'm usually right about to orgasm, but he pulls out just before it happens.

I've tried to get him to help me finish afterwards, but I feel like there's no way for me to ask him to without sounding disappointed. I've tried in sexy voice while spreading "baby come play with me/give me more" or "do you have any more for me?" Lol. Something to not make it sound like he doesn't satisfy me.

The few times that I've asked him to finish me off post-sex, his face while doing so was anything but enthusiastic as were the movement of his fingers (it wasn't working and he doesn't enjoy oral after being inside).

It leaves me feeling very tense and uptight, and like I NEED some time alone to make myself orgasm. This is why I believe I haven't really wanted to lately, but I don't have the slightest idea how to bring this to my boyfriend without him taking a hit to his ego. I love making love to him, but lately when he leaves, I find the first thing I'm doing is watching porn and masturbating. It feels like sex is always over after he finishes and I want that to change.

Any advice on how to approach this?



Submitted August 17, 2021 at 11:57PM

Hey there! Looking for some advice on an uncomfortable situation.My boyfriend (25 cis-M) and I (25 cis-F) have been together since high school, living together for 3+ years. We have fantastically passionate sex, at least a few times a week. Though I'm noticing as we get older and busier, it gets less frequent and less passionate. (But we're not even old! We're only in our 20s! SOS!) But I'm definitely aware that the decline frequency is due to mostly me and not him. It's not for lack of me wanting to or for him trying to.During sex, everything feels great. If it doesn't, I tell him. I feel our communication about it is fairly open. But lately, I haven't been able to finish before him, which is whatever, but he also doesn't finish me off after he does. He's made me orgasm countless times before, but it feels like it's been months since the last time.It's my understanding and experience that it takes more effort and time to make women orgasm. He can last for a while, and stays hard the whole time while putting in that extra effort. I would certainly enjoy a bit more foreplay and teasing first, but we have fun and it feels great. I'm usually right about to orgasm, but he pulls out just before it happens.I've tried to get him to help me finish afterwards, but I feel like there's no way for me to ask him to without sounding disappointed. I've tried in sexy voice while spreading "baby come play with me/give me more" or "do you have any more for me?" Lol. Something to not make it sound like he doesn't satisfy me.The few times that I've asked him to finish me off post-sex, his face while doing so was anything but enthusiastic as were the movement of his fingers (it wasn't working and he doesn't enjoy oral after being inside).It leaves me feeling very tense and uptight, and like I NEED some time alone to make myself orgasm. This is why I believe I haven't really wanted to lately, but I don't have the slightest idea how to bring this to my boyfriend without him taking a hit to his ego. I love making love to him, but lately when he leaves, I find the first thing I'm doing is watching porn and masturbating. It feels like sex is always over after he finishes and I want that to change.Any advice on how to approach this?
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