Boyfriend is Super Vanilla

My (24 F) Boyfriend (26 M) is (IMO) super vanilla. He’s never used a toy, or any additional items in his one past relationship. I on the other-hand have many fetishes/kinks compared to him (he literally can’t name a single one, we’ve looked at porn categories and he just says he only looks at the front page) which largely he can accommodate but the issue I’m running into is with physical items. I like light bdsm play, handcuffs, light rope use, sensation deprivation play, etc. I asked how he would feel if I did that to him, he wasn’t into it, ok no problem (although I wish). But when I asked if he could do that to me he was resistant. This makes me sad because it’s a big chunk of what I like. I, of course, don’t want him to have a bad time with me but I would like him to give it a chance. He voiced that he wouldn’t be able to verbally roleplay along and I told him thats fine, I’m don’t need him to say kinky stuff, I just really wanted someone who could tease me and spice things up physically. I’m looking for advice about how to approach a happy middle ground here, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable but I’d also just to enjoy myself with him and share this with him.

Submitted July 17, 2021 at 12:05AM

My (24 F) Boyfriend (26 M) is (IMO) super vanilla. He’s never used a toy, or any additional items in his one past relationship. I on the other-hand have many fetishes/kinks compared to him (he literally can’t name a single one, we’ve looked at porn categories and he just says he only looks at the front page) which largely he can accommodate but the issue I’m running into is with physical items. I like light bdsm play, handcuffs, light rope use, sensation deprivation play, etc. I asked how he would feel if I did that to him, he wasn’t into it, ok no problem (although I wish). But when I asked if he could do that to me he was resistant. This makes me sad because it’s a big chunk of what I like. I, of course, don’t want him to have a bad time with me but I would like him to give it a chance. He voiced that he wouldn’t be able to verbally roleplay along and I told him thats fine, I’m don’t need him to say kinky stuff, I just really wanted someone who could tease me and spice things up physically. I’m looking for advice about how to approach a happy middle ground here, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable but I’d also just to enjoy myself with him and share this with him.