Waiting game

I'm a person who likes to take action. Dirty room, clean it up. Want to get into running, start a running plan today. Want to talk to a friend, just call them. Successful dating takes the opposite kind of skill, namely a LOT of doing nothing in the early stages. Especially off the apps, and especially in the age of Covid when you can't gauge someone's body language.

Whenever I have been interested in someone, I usually felt the need to hold back"on expressing any sort of interest. I don't know why, I guess I'm shy and don't want to mess things up. Sometimes not knowing is better than rejection, ha. This is purely outside of the app-world obviously, where you don't know someone's relationship status, sexual orientation, etc making things so much harder to navigate (and exciting and fun and anxiety-inducing, of course).

And having an interest in someone almost always predates knowing them well enough to really get into the kind of flirty banter we all love. That's the high I'm chasing, the flirty banter. But it's like edging, you have to stay casual for quite a while in order to work up the tension. The longer the better.

The example I'm thinking of is that I have a crush on someone I'm taking a class with. I want to wait the few weeks until I move back to our university to ask if he wants to hang out (to go for a walk and/or get some coffee, I would love). I'm a girl btw, if anyone cares. But it makes me so antsy because I have to wait several weeks!! And it's stupid to keep this buildup in my mind when for all I know, he could be married or gay or simply not interested. I'm afraid to text because I need to focus on my work (I'm a PhD student and not in need of more anxiety, and he seems to be a slow texter).

So yep, that's my rant. Going to just do my best to repress the crush until I can act on it. Would love to hear further rants and insight/complaints about modern dating from you all :)

Submitted April 22, 2021 at 12:13AM

I'm a person who likes to take action. Dirty room, clean it up. Want to get into running, start a running plan today. Want to talk to a friend, just call them. Successful dating takes the opposite kind of skill, namely a LOT of doing nothing in the early stages. Especially off the apps, and especially in the age of Covid when you can't gauge someone's body language.Whenever I have been interested in someone, I usually felt the need to hold back"on expressing any sort of interest. I don't know why, I guess I'm shy and don't want to mess things up. Sometimes not knowing is better than rejection, ha. This is purely outside of the app-world obviously, where you don't know someone's relationship status, sexual orientation, etc making things so much harder to navigate (and exciting and fun and anxiety-inducing, of course).And having an interest in someone almost always predates knowing them well enough to really get into the kind of flirty banter we all love. That's the high I'm chasing, the flirty banter. But it's like edging, you have to stay casual for quite a while in order to work up the tension. The longer the better.The example I'm thinking of is that I have a crush on someone I'm taking a class with. I want to wait the few weeks until I move back to our university to ask if he wants to hang out (to go for a walk and/or get some coffee, I would love). I'm a girl btw, if anyone cares. But it makes me so antsy because I have to wait several weeks!! And it's stupid to keep this buildup in my mind when for all I know, he could be married or gay or simply not interested. I'm afraid to text because I need to focus on my work (I'm a PhD student and not in need of more anxiety, and he seems to be a slow texter).So yep, that's my rant. Going to just do my best to repress the crush until I can act on it. Would love to hear further rants and insight/complaints about modern dating from you all :)