Revealing relationship to new partners kids

I’m hoping you can all help me with some advice – throw away for obvious reasons

I’ve recently started seeing a woman whom I knew back in uni. Always had a crush on her, but I was with someone, then she was with someone and so nothing happened. Fast forward 15 years she getting a divorce from the guy who physically and mentally abused her and her 2 kids.

Things between us are really good, proceeding slowing with lots of reassurance but they are good. She's intelligent, funny and I remember why I had such a crush on her.

The issue we are worried about is how to break to the kids. She has 2 children a boy who is 8 and a girl who is 5.

I’ve met the kids often, I like them a lot and it seems to be mutual.

Her son has his own emotional scars from his father and can be really difficult, but now that the father isn’t around he’s loads better but still has his scars.

We are keeping the relationship between us a secret and showing the kids nothing but being a friend, but I doubt this is sustainable as both of the kids are pretty sharp.

My primary concern is not causing any more pain or upset to a family who have experienced too much of already.

Do any of you have advice for dealing with this kind of thing?

Submitted August 22, 2020 at 07:35PM

I’m hoping you can all help me with some advice – throw away for obvious reasonsI’ve recently started seeing a woman whom I knew back in uni. Always had a crush on her, but I was with someone, then she was with someone and so nothing happened. Fast forward 15 years she getting a divorce from the guy who physically and mentally abused her and her 2 kids.Things between us are really good, proceeding slowing with lots of reassurance but they are good. She's intelligent, funny and I remember why I had such a crush on her.The issue we are worried about is how to break to the kids. She has 2 children a boy who is 8 and a girl who is 5.I’ve met the kids often, I like them a lot and it seems to be mutual.Her son has his own emotional scars from his father and can be really difficult, but now that the father isn’t around he’s loads better but still has his scars.We are keeping the relationship between us a secret and showing the kids nothing but being a friend, but I doubt this is sustainable as both of the kids are pretty sharp.My primary concern is not causing any more pain or upset to a family who have experienced too much of already.Do any of you have advice for dealing with this kind of thing?