Lonely heart seeks courage

I am 21F, straight, and I seek your wisdom.

I have always been very emotional, so it can be very obvious when I like someone. The problem is that some people have taken advantage of this, and have hurt me deeply. So, I have tried working on controlling my emotions to protect myself. Yet there are limits to how much can be done (I have the composure of a 9 year old). As a result, I have simply become increasingly shy. Well, it’s more than that. Now, I am essentially terrified to make a move on people I like.

Here’s the latest example to date, which still saddens me: I met a guy at a party in January, he was lovely, we ended up talking all night. I was delighted to wake up to his friend request on Facebook the next day. I would regularly bump into him at uni (we’re students), and my attraction to him grew everyday. Meanwhile my friends grew frustrated at me, prompting me to “ask him out for God sake”. Yet, the thought of it terrified me. So I kept making excuses to avoid asking him out, “maybe he’s seeing someone”, “he’s out of my league”, and so on, so forth. But I really did fancy him.

Alas, due to the corona crisis, we are now in different countries, both in lockdown. We are likely not to see each other ever again. I never made a move, and oh how I regret. But equally, would I have been brave enough to do anything anyways ? I have taken the time to reflect on this during quarantine, and I want to grow out of it. I wish to be better with the next lovely guy that comes my way. So, any advice for a passionate but shy little heart?

Submitted April 21, 2020 at 11:53PM

I am 21F, straight, and I seek your wisdom.I have always been very emotional, so it can be very obvious when I like someone. The problem is that some people have taken advantage of this, and have hurt me deeply. So, I have tried working on controlling my emotions to protect myself. Yet there are limits to how much can be done (I have the composure of a 9 year old). As a result, I have simply become increasingly shy. Well, it’s more than that. Now, I am essentially terrified to make a move on people I like.Here’s the latest example to date, which still saddens me: I met a guy at a party in January, he was lovely, we ended up talking all night. I was delighted to wake up to his friend request on Facebook the next day. I would regularly bump into him at uni (we’re students), and my attraction to him grew everyday. Meanwhile my friends grew frustrated at me, prompting me to “ask him out for God sake”. Yet, the thought of it terrified me. So I kept making excuses to avoid asking him out, “maybe he’s seeing someone”, “he’s out of my league”, and so on, so forth. But I really did fancy him.Alas, due to the corona crisis, we are now in different countries, both in lockdown. We are likely not to see each other ever again. I never made a move, and oh how I regret. But equally, would I have been brave enough to do anything anyways ? I have taken the time to reflect on this during quarantine, and I want to grow out of it. I wish to be better with the next lovely guy that comes my way. So, any advice for a passionate but shy little heart?