I (21m) feel like I’m never going to be worthy of someone’s time

Pretty much title, it’s hard to feel like I’m ever going to be worth somebody investing in. I’ve lost 80 pounds, I go to college, I’ve held down a job, I have decent clothes, and people enjoy being around me but none of this has ever helped me. I have had tinder for 8 months and obviously I haven’t been very active lately but still yet I have had 0 dates and like 6 matches in that time. Girls that I’m friends with don’t want me either, Anything beyond a platonic friendship isn’t possible.

I don’t blame women for not wanting me and I don’t really feel bitter or angry about it, I wouldn’t want me either. I’ve realized that I have nothing to offer anyone that would make them want me in a relationship. Im so fucking ugly that I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, my mom and sister both told me that I’m a solid 2/10 and I have always been the center of jokes regarding my appearance.

My therapist asked me to try and find something that I’m grateful for about myself and I can’t do it. I hate everything about myself and I can’t find a single redeeming trait. Literally the only thing I’ve thought of is that I can grow facial hair and that’s only because it helps me hide half of my face.

I can’t cope with being alone for the rest of my life, I feel like I have no future. The only thing that feels realistic to me is dying in the next couple of years. I know that sounds dramatic but any other expectation just feels disingenuous to me. I don’t see myself ever developing some compelling reason to live. What’s the point of putting in effort anymore when I know that no matter what I do I will never have somebody to come home to share my life with?



Submitted April 21, 2020 at 11:52PM

Pretty much title, it’s hard to feel like I’m ever going to be worth somebody investing in. I’ve lost 80 pounds, I go to college, I’ve held down a job, I have decent clothes, and people enjoy being around me but none of this has ever helped me. I have had tinder for 8 months and obviously I haven’t been very active lately but still yet I have had 0 dates and like 6 matches in that time. Girls that I’m friends with don’t want me either, Anything beyond a platonic friendship isn’t possible.I don’t blame women for not wanting me and I don’t really feel bitter or angry about it, I wouldn’t want me either. I’ve realized that I have nothing to offer anyone that would make them want me in a relationship. Im so fucking ugly that I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, my mom and sister both told me that I’m a solid 2/10 and I have always been the center of jokes regarding my appearance.My therapist asked me to try and find something that I’m grateful for about myself and I can’t do it. I hate everything about myself and I can’t find a single redeeming trait. Literally the only thing I’ve thought of is that I can grow facial hair and that’s only because it helps me hide half of my face.I can’t cope with being alone for the rest of my life, I feel like I have no future. The only thing that feels realistic to me is dying in the next couple of years. I know that sounds dramatic but any other expectation just feels disingenuous to me. I don’t see myself ever developing some compelling reason to live. What’s the point of putting in effort anymore when I know that no matter what I do I will never have somebody to come home to share my life with?
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