i'm scared to date!

i'm sorry for how long this is and thank you for taking the time to help me.

i (19F) have really bad trust and commitment issues. it started when i was young with no relationship with my dad, to when i was raped last year, to a couple months ago when i found out my ex boyfriend raped my best friend in MY house when i was ASLEEP. i've never had a great relationship with men to begin with, my father was an alcoholic and was never around, i used to be really bothered by it but i've come to peace with it so it doesn't bother me anymore. everyone was surprised when i got my first boyfriend (20M) and we were together for almost 3 years. we did everything together and i truly thought he was my soulmate even when we took a break in June of last year, during that time i was sad as hell, he still came around because he was friends with my family and it was summer so we were always at my moms friends lake house, during that time i had downloaded tinder, met up with someone and got sexually assaulted, i called my ex right after and he was there for me through everything. we got back together soon after and i felt safe. he made my feel safe. December 13, 2019 was when shit started to go wrong, he was accused of rape and all evidence points to him being guilty. i stuck by him because i'm stupid and i thought he was the best thing to ever happen to me. he started hitting me after a while, i always had bruises and i have a scar from how hard he has bitten me even then, i stayed. i didn't leave until his best friend called me and told me that my ex had had sex with my best friend, i immediately talked to my friend and she said he forced it. i believed her because she was the second girl to accuse him, i broke it off and haven't talked to him since, even though he's tried.

fast forward to now, i met someone new (M23) but i can't get myself to commit to him. he's sweet, funny and super cute. i like him but i'm scared he'll get uninterested because i'm so hesitant to start a relationship. i already see him kind of pushing back, taking forever to answer me, etc. i'm not sure if i'm ready to date, should i ask him to wait? should i stop talking to him? i don't know what to do.



Submitted April 22, 2020 at 12:08AM

i'm sorry for how long this is and thank you for taking the time to help me.i (19F) have really bad trust and commitment issues. it started when i was young with no relationship with my dad, to when i was raped last year, to a couple months ago when i found out my ex boyfriend raped my best friend in MY house when i was ASLEEP. i've never had a great relationship with men to begin with, my father was an alcoholic and was never around, i used to be really bothered by it but i've come to peace with it so it doesn't bother me anymore. everyone was surprised when i got my first boyfriend (20M) and we were together for almost 3 years. we did everything together and i truly thought he was my soulmate even when we took a break in June of last year, during that time i was sad as hell, he still came around because he was friends with my family and it was summer so we were always at my moms friends lake house, during that time i had downloaded tinder, met up with someone and got sexually assaulted, i called my ex right after and he was there for me through everything. we got back together soon after and i felt safe. he made my feel safe. December 13, 2019 was when shit started to go wrong, he was accused of rape and all evidence points to him being guilty. i stuck by him because i'm stupid and i thought he was the best thing to ever happen to me. he started hitting me after a while, i always had bruises and i have a scar from how hard he has bitten me even then, i stayed. i didn't leave until his best friend called me and told me that my ex had had sex with my best friend, i immediately talked to my friend and she said he forced it. i believed her because she was the second girl to accuse him, i broke it off and haven't talked to him since, even though he's tried.fast forward to now, i met someone new (M23) but i can't get myself to commit to him. he's sweet, funny and super cute. i like him but i'm scared he'll get uninterested because i'm so hesitant to start a relationship. i already see him kind of pushing back, taking forever to answer me, etc. i'm not sure if i'm ready to date, should i ask him to wait? should i stop talking to him? i don't know what to do.
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