Why does sex hurt with my (19F) boyfriend (22F) but not other guys? Also, is it bad that I liked sex with a hookup more than with my bf?

Hi there,

Was hoping to get some insight because I’m super confused. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and about half the time we have sex, it hurts. He’s not particularly big or anything, just average, maaybe a bit bigger than average.

We’re in an open relationship and I had hooked up with someone for the first time since I’ve been in a relationship. I noticed that I was way more excited to have sex with the hookup because of the anticipation/nervousness/etc. also I noticed that there was no pain at all. We were able to do positions that I’ve never done with my boyfriend and it was really fun. The sex wasn’t even any better than it is on a good day with my boyfriend. I’m more attracted to my boyfriend, he knows what I like way more than the hookup did, and he’s way more vocal which I like. But taboo of hooking up with someone was hot to me and definitely compensated for what was lacking in the hookup.

So what gives? Why am I all of a sudden bored by sex with my unbelievably sexy boyfriend and more turned on by hooking up with a guy that I’m not even really attracted to?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is super attractive and good at sex, but for some reason it hurts half the time and I was more excited to have sex with a guy I’m not even attracted to.



Submitted February 22, 2020 at 11:44PM

Hi there,Was hoping to get some insight because I’m super confused. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and about half the time we have sex, it hurts. He’s not particularly big or anything, just average, maaybe a bit bigger than average.We’re in an open relationship and I had hooked up with someone for the first time since I’ve been in a relationship. I noticed that I was way more excited to have sex with the hookup because of the anticipation/nervousness/etc. also I noticed that there was no pain at all. We were able to do positions that I’ve never done with my boyfriend and it was really fun. The sex wasn’t even any better than it is on a good day with my boyfriend. I’m more attracted to my boyfriend, he knows what I like way more than the hookup did, and he’s way more vocal which I like. But taboo of hooking up with someone was hot to me and definitely compensated for what was lacking in the hookup.So what gives? Why am I all of a sudden bored by sex with my unbelievably sexy boyfriend and more turned on by hooking up with a guy that I’m not even really attracted to?TL;DR: My boyfriend is super attractive and good at sex, but for some reason it hurts half the time and I was more excited to have sex with a guy I’m not even attracted to.
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