Why do I feel like I’m on a black list

I got divorced mid last year. I hate being alone but this is the longest i have ever been single by choice and I’m proud of myself. Prior to marriage I would jump from relationship to relationship because after I’d break up with someone or vice versa someone else would want to date me right away. So this time I’m like I got to process everything and stayed single. What I want I feel like is impossible to find :/ My dream dude would be a Business minded musician or minister that we could travel the world together doing missionary work and ministry together with my contribution being music & ministry.

I joined eharmony like 2 weeks ago and got no hits. I did meet one minister and we almost met today but were too far apart. I feel like I am on some black list don’t date her list either that or guys want the young ones and think I’m ugly after I hit 30 lol. I think I look pretty good for 38 everyone thinks I’m mid 20s still. I do not get it.



Submitted February 21, 2020 at 12:17AM

I got divorced mid last year. I hate being alone but this is the longest i have ever been single by choice and I’m proud of myself. Prior to marriage I would jump from relationship to relationship because after I’d break up with someone or vice versa someone else would want to date me right away. So this time I’m like I got to process everything and stayed single. What I want I feel like is impossible to find :/ My dream dude would be a Business minded musician or minister that we could travel the world together doing missionary work and ministry together with my contribution being music & ministry.I joined eharmony like 2 weeks ago and got no hits. I did meet one minister and we almost met today but were too far apart. I feel like I am on some black list don’t date her list either that or guys want the young ones and think I’m ugly after I hit 30 lol. I think I look pretty good for 38 everyone thinks I’m mid 20s still. I do not get it.
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