Using sex to build emotional intimacy

I’m 28F and have previously only had sex with guys I’ve been in relationships with or been dating more long term so we would have the conversation to make it official soon after we had sex.

I’ve been dating for a while now and there was one guy who I would text with everyday since our first date and we had good conversations but he felt very emotionally cold so the most I got from him were the hugs I initiated at the start and end that felt forced from him. Date 3 we had more to drink so I got 1 kiss from him and then I ended up back at his place for mediocre sex. Since then we’ve barely texted at all so I can assume that we’re done.

I feel weird about it because I’ve never hooked up with someone I knew that little and would never see again. Just feeling down on myself that I could be so desperate for affection that I thought having sex with him would make him open up more. Not sure why I’m posting. To vent? To hear similar stories? Reassurance? Either way I just feel lame for having sex with someone who clearly didn’t care :(



Submitted February 08, 2020 at 11:59PM

I’m 28F and have previously only had sex with guys I’ve been in relationships with or been dating more long term so we would have the conversation to make it official soon after we had sex.I’ve been dating for a while now and there was one guy who I would text with everyday since our first date and we had good conversations but he felt very emotionally cold so the most I got from him were the hugs I initiated at the start and end that felt forced from him. Date 3 we had more to drink so I got 1 kiss from him and then I ended up back at his place for mediocre sex. Since then we’ve barely texted at all so I can assume that we’re done.I feel weird about it because I’ve never hooked up with someone I knew that little and would never see again. Just feeling down on myself that I could be so desperate for affection that I thought having sex with him would make him open up more. Not sure why I’m posting. To vent? To hear similar stories? Reassurance? Either way I just feel lame for having sex with someone who clearly didn’t care :(
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