Sex Anxiety, Fear of Losing Partner (20F)

So I’ve been with my boyfriend (23M) for over a year now, when we first got together we had sex like 2 times a day sometimes! I was kind of always up for it and we both had such a great connection, it was amazing! We tried a couple different fun things and he was really attentive in the relationship too and I felt really appreciated but now things have massively flipped - My self esteem has crashed, I feel stressed a lot of the time and deal with anxiety too which has caused me to lose my sex drive completely. We since moved into our own place, we’ve been here 4 months and only had sex 3 times and it’s genuinely all because of me. During this time, my boyfriend still makes hints and comments about wanting to have sex but that we don’t, I feel like I’m failing as a girlfriend. He understands that the hints upset me but almost can’t help but make hints sometimes I don’t know, the hints add pressure which makes me feel like I can’t/don’t want to have sex even more because what if it’s disappointing after all this time? I’ve tried to explain this too but no luck. I want to try and regain some confidence so I can get our close relationship back but feel like I’m never going to be that fun person with a great sex drive again, how can I get that back??? I want us to get closer and not further apart!



Submitted February 08, 2020 at 11:42PM

So I’ve been with my boyfriend (23M) for over a year now, when we first got together we had sex like 2 times a day sometimes! I was kind of always up for it and we both had such a great connection, it was amazing! We tried a couple different fun things and he was really attentive in the relationship too and I felt really appreciated but now things have massively flipped - My self esteem has crashed, I feel stressed a lot of the time and deal with anxiety too which has caused me to lose my sex drive completely. We since moved into our own place, we’ve been here 4 months and only had sex 3 times and it’s genuinely all because of me. During this time, my boyfriend still makes hints and comments about wanting to have sex but that we don’t, I feel like I’m failing as a girlfriend. He understands that the hints upset me but almost can’t help but make hints sometimes I don’t know, the hints add pressure which makes me feel like I can’t/don’t want to have sex even more because what if it’s disappointing after all this time? I’ve tried to explain this too but no luck. I want to try and regain some confidence so I can get our close relationship back but feel like I’m never going to be that fun person with a great sex drive again, how can I get that back??? I want us to get closer and not further apart!
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