The Plight of the Gutless Single Person

A little background. I'm 33, single, male, straight, and I'm trying to meet women/friends outside of the few remaining in my social circles.

So I was going to go to a happy hour Meetup event down the street from where I work tonight. Never been to one, didn't know anyone, and going alone. Didn't see anyone that looked under 40 RSVP'd yes, so that's my excuse, and I chickened out and didn't go, of course.

So omw home I thought "I have to do SOMETHING other than sitting at home alone." So I stopped at a bar I know of and grabbed a drink and sat at a table alone. That's where I am right now, I'm writing this from the table.

There's an attractive woman, seemingly around my age, sitting at a table alone, on her laptop, looking just as awkward as I probably do.

There's also a group of men my age at the adjacent table discussing IT and their "current sprint" (agile dev) I do IT on a scrum team too.

And I can't bring myself to say a word to either of them.

So I told a friend that I'm here (not why), he's coming, and I'm going to use him as an excuse internally to not talk to any strangers.

...

I was a house appraiser for 13 years. I met and talked to strangers, in their private homes for a living, but the second my first impression might matter for more than a single professional appointment I can't do it??

I don't know how to get past this fear. I need solid advice from other folks that have been in this position. I know I need therapy for a few things anyway, should I add this to the list? What did you guys do??

Submitted February 19, 2020 at 11:52PM

A little background. I'm 33, single, male, straight, and I'm trying to meet women/friends outside of the few remaining in my social circles.So I was going to go to a happy hour Meetup event down the street from where I work tonight. Never been to one, didn't know anyone, and going alone. Didn't see anyone that looked under 40 RSVP'd yes, so that's my excuse, and I chickened out and didn't go, of course.So omw home I thought "I have to do SOMETHING other than sitting at home alone." So I stopped at a bar I know of and grabbed a drink and sat at a table alone. That's where I am right now, I'm writing this from the table.There's an attractive woman, seemingly around my age, sitting at a table alone, on her laptop, looking just as awkward as I probably do.There's also a group of men my age at the adjacent table discussing IT and their "current sprint" (agile dev) I do IT on a scrum team too.And I can't bring myself to say a word to either of them.So I told a friend that I'm here (not why), he's coming, and I'm going to use him as an excuse internally to not talk to any strangers....I was a house appraiser for 13 years. I met and talked to strangers, in their private homes for a living, but the second my first impression might matter for more than a single professional appointment I can't do it??I don't know how to get past this fear. I need solid advice from other folks that have been in this position. I know I need therapy for a few things anyway, should I add this to the list? What did you guys do??