Disappointing Second Date

So I (27f) went on a date tonight I'm feeling a little disappointed by it. For background, I was at a bar a couple of weeks ago and the guy (33m) who owned it approached me as I was leaving and asked for my number. We arranged a first date over text which lasted nine hours. We talked non-stop and there was amazing chemistry, he even walked me all the way home to my door at 3am and seemed like a real gentleman.

I was super excited for the next date, but when he arrived tonight he admitted to being awake till seven working at his bar, drinking, smoking, doing coke (!), etc. and I couldn't help feeling a little put out by it. I feel like it was sort of disrespectful to have an evening of complete excess the night before we arranged to meet. It was going semi-okay but just before it ended he asked if I'd like to go back to his to 'nurse him back to health', which again I thought was presumptuous and not respecting my boundaries almost, especially because the conversation was pretty low-energy at that point. We parted ways with a very half-hearted kiss.

Am I being too uptight and should I give this guy another chance or should I trust my gut on this one?



Submitted February 20, 2020 at 12:06AM

So I (27f) went on a date tonight I'm feeling a little disappointed by it. For background, I was at a bar a couple of weeks ago and the guy (33m) who owned it approached me as I was leaving and asked for my number. We arranged a first date over text which lasted nine hours. We talked non-stop and there was amazing chemistry, he even walked me all the way home to my door at 3am and seemed like a real gentleman.I was super excited for the next date, but when he arrived tonight he admitted to being awake till seven working at his bar, drinking, smoking, doing coke (!), etc. and I couldn't help feeling a little put out by it. I feel like it was sort of disrespectful to have an evening of complete excess the night before we arranged to meet. It was going semi-okay but just before it ended he asked if I'd like to go back to his to 'nurse him back to health', which again I thought was presumptuous and not respecting my boundaries almost, especially because the conversation was pretty low-energy at that point. We parted ways with a very half-hearted kiss.Am I being too uptight and should I give this guy another chance or should I trust my gut on this one?
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