First potential relationship in years....and I’m freaking out.

So I’m freaking out a bit. M(26) I have a potential for a relationship and my anxiety is creeping in. I haven’t been in a committed relationship since high school. I had a ton of insecurities in college and just didn’t date. Over the last three years I’ve completely transformed. So that’s why this is new and why the long span of no dating existed.

Well I met this girl on Hinge and I’m really attracted to her. We’re about to go on our 4th date and have the 5th planned already. We get along great and she brings an extroverted personality right out of me with ease (I always thought I was introverted but around her I feel like I can talk to anyone, even her, about anything). We have similar interest around health and fitness, which is a nonnegotiable quietly for me. We’re also both a tad awkward sometimes which is cute when we recognize it.

I have this burning desire to learn more about her, but she is much more reserved than I am. My analytical brain wants to know everything about her and it’s tough for me not to shout “please tell me everything about you in a 15000 word essay so I can evaluate you with my engineer brain.” She also hasn’t dated much and we both admitted to each other that we have more guarded personalities. Which might be why I am having some thoughts about everything going on right now.

Through this whole process, though, my anxiety is creeping in. Questions swirling about what if I find something I don’t like about her? What if I do something that hurts her? What if things do work out and then fall apart later on? (The last one is a fear because of my parents splitting after 22 years). What if I’m convincing myself to get into something because it’s been so long? I also realize it’s very early into our “relationship” so keeping my feelings in check has been a struggle. I feel like I’m going crazy honestly. For as confident as I am now, this newness is messing with my head. When I’m with her, I don’t have these thoughts. When I’m alone though....that’s when things creep in. Am I going crazy? Is this somewhat normal? Maybe I wasn’t as ready to start dating as I thought?



Submitted February 19, 2020 at 11:59PM

So I’m freaking out a bit. M(26) I have a potential for a relationship and my anxiety is creeping in. I haven’t been in a committed relationship since high school. I had a ton of insecurities in college and just didn’t date. Over the last three years I’ve completely transformed. So that’s why this is new and why the long span of no dating existed.Well I met this girl on Hinge and I’m really attracted to her. We’re about to go on our 4th date and have the 5th planned already. We get along great and she brings an extroverted personality right out of me with ease (I always thought I was introverted but around her I feel like I can talk to anyone, even her, about anything). We have similar interest around health and fitness, which is a nonnegotiable quietly for me. We’re also both a tad awkward sometimes which is cute when we recognize it.I have this burning desire to learn more about her, but she is much more reserved than I am. My analytical brain wants to know everything about her and it’s tough for me not to shout “please tell me everything about you in a 15000 word essay so I can evaluate you with my engineer brain.” She also hasn’t dated much and we both admitted to each other that we have more guarded personalities. Which might be why I am having some thoughts about everything going on right now.Through this whole process, though, my anxiety is creeping in. Questions swirling about what if I find something I don’t like about her? What if I do something that hurts her? What if things do work out and then fall apart later on? (The last one is a fear because of my parents splitting after 22 years). What if I’m convincing myself to get into something because it’s been so long? I also realize it’s very early into our “relationship” so keeping my feelings in check has been a struggle. I feel like I’m going crazy honestly. For as confident as I am now, this newness is messing with my head. When I’m with her, I don’t have these thoughts. When I’m alone though....that’s when things creep in. Am I going crazy? Is this somewhat normal? Maybe I wasn’t as ready to start dating as I thought?
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