One Night Stands, Breaking the Cycle and Sunday Night's Planned Hookup

OK, I'm my 30s. Tinder date is younger (not illegally or creepily so). She seems cool, hot--said she finds me "incredibly attractive," which I think is odd over an app. Cause how can you know if you're not in person? She wanted to go to a nearby city and do some crazy (but safe stuff) on Sunday night, stay over in a hotel, and just sex + party. I'm fine with this and have had similarly crazy tinder experiences. I have made it extremely clear that even if we have an incredible time, sex is never an expectation in a situation like that. She didn't seem worried, but I wanted to be clear that I would never assume consent.

She independently texted to double-check the dates on Sunday. Mentioned, she's excited to meet me, very flirty. Drunk texted me Wednesday, letting me know she was excited.

Here's the thing. I've realized this sort of stuff stresses me out. She is not easy to get ahold of via text even though she does usually follow up within 12-24 hours (she mentioned she doesn't like to text, but these require simple responses. Like "no." I am not texting her to chat or something. I can tell she wants to do that in person, not on the phone. However, I have to make reservations for us; I did agree to handle logistics (and I signed up for that eyes open). Yet, I'm not a complete idiot. I will cancel before the cancellation date vs. risking paying for a ghost/no-show.

I texted her tonight to check on Monday's departure times just because whether or not she does, I need to know that stuff. That was 2 hours ago. No response.

Kind of drives home the point that all this is not worth the hassle, but I will go through with this one since it's mainly set up (and candidly, does sound fun. After that, I'm just gonna go on regular dates and just go the GF route. It's time anyway..My thoughts:

  1. Give her 24 hours. Then text or call? Votes? I'm not afraid of calling, but if no pickup, then I have to leave another text on top of that.
  2. If I hear nothing by Friday at midnight, I cancel any reservations so I'm not on the hook for shit. If that happens, I'm not gonna play around with it, we can meet up around here or not.
  3. The reason for my post: I had a bad fall last January. I'm fine, but it was traumatizing and my body went through hell. Totally fine, now. But I've been out of the game and am just second-guessing way more than I once did. Otherwise, I'd just let this play out. But I'm being a baby and want help. I'm not usually this neurotic.
  4. Odds/guesses on whether we'll be on the train together Sunday?


Submitted December 12, 2019 at 12:03AM

OK, I'm my 30s. Tinder date is younger (not illegally or creepily so). She seems cool, hot--said she finds me "incredibly attractive," which I think is odd over an app. Cause how can you know if you're not in person? She wanted to go to a nearby city and do some crazy (but safe stuff) on Sunday night, stay over in a hotel, and just sex + party. I'm fine with this and have had similarly crazy tinder experiences. I have made it extremely clear that even if we have an incredible time, sex is never an expectation in a situation like that. She didn't seem worried, but I wanted to be clear that I would never assume consent.She independently texted to double-check the dates on Sunday. Mentioned, she's excited to meet me, very flirty. Drunk texted me Wednesday, letting me know she was excited.Here's the thing. I've realized this sort of stuff stresses me out. She is not easy to get ahold of via text even though she does usually follow up within 12-24 hours (she mentioned she doesn't like to text, but these require simple responses. Like "no." I am not texting her to chat or something. I can tell she wants to do that in person, not on the phone. However, I have to make reservations for us; I did agree to handle logistics (and I signed up for that eyes open). Yet, I'm not a complete idiot. I will cancel before the cancellation date vs. risking paying for a ghost/no-show.I texted her tonight to check on Monday's departure times just because whether or not she does, I need to know that stuff. That was 2 hours ago. No response.Kind of drives home the point that all this is not worth the hassle, but I will go through with this one since it's mainly set up (and candidly, does sound fun. After that, I'm just gonna go on regular dates and just go the GF route. It's time anyway..My thoughts:Give her 24 hours. Then text or call? Votes? I'm not afraid of calling, but if no pickup, then I have to leave another text on top of that.If I hear nothing by Friday at midnight, I cancel any reservations so I'm not on the hook for shit. If that happens, I'm not gonna play around with it, we can meet up around here or not.The reason for my post: I had a bad fall last January. I'm fine, but it was traumatizing and my body went through hell. Totally fine, now. But I've been out of the game and am just second-guessing way more than I once did. Otherwise, I'd just let this play out. But I'm being a baby and want help. I'm not usually this neurotic.Odds/guesses on whether we'll be on the train together Sunday?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more