How to get back into the pool?

I’ve [24f] Been kind of on a hiatus from dating for the past year, or “nun” mode as some may say. While [I believe that] it was meant to be that I wasn’t juggling dating amongst dealing with some pretty stressful shit in my job and general life these past months, I feel like the waves have calmed down enough for me to at least to attempt to get back out there...

I’ve only dated short term though, I’ve never had a serious relationship before...and I think that’s what is holding me back the most, because of my age and lack of names in my past- and I’m well aware of that. High school and College were duds for a opportunity to find someone; I just wasn’t interested in anyone that crossed paths with me, and now I’m out in the real world with job in Manhattan in Fashion that’s pretty much 90% women and 9% gay men. I never have the opportunity to meet guys organically within the last 2 years. So I always resorted to apps (sans Tinder), and I hated them. It was overwhelming and shallow - you can’t see chemistry through a few pictures so most of the time dates I went fell flat mutually after a couple times or I was ghosted because I wasn’t down for a meaningless hookup.

I’m trying though to pull myself out of this rut of being so reluctant to put myself back out there. The excuse of “being busy” isn’t an excuse anymore. I’ve had my time to relax and take a breather and work on myself. I understand this time of year is insane with Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years so I’ll open myself up more in the New Year. But where do I start? Everyone in this city just seems to be lazy and swipe away as an easy fix that tends to go nowhere. I don’t want to get back into that. I felt like I was in a hamster wheel.

I guess I just need a push...most of my days are spent at the office or at shoots and in my free time I resort to just being at home working on my side hustle, . I rarely see people anymore, something has got to change.



Submitted December 12, 2019 at 12:06AM

I’ve [24f] Been kind of on a hiatus from dating for the past year, or “nun” mode as some may say. While [I believe that] it was meant to be that I wasn’t juggling dating amongst dealing with some pretty stressful shit in my job and general life these past months, I feel like the waves have calmed down enough for me to at least to attempt to get back out there...I’ve only dated short term though, I’ve never had a serious relationship before...and I think that’s what is holding me back the most, because of my age and lack of names in my past- and I’m well aware of that. High school and College were duds for a opportunity to find someone; I just wasn’t interested in anyone that crossed paths with me, and now I’m out in the real world with job in Manhattan in Fashion that’s pretty much 90% women and 9% gay men. I never have the opportunity to meet guys organically within the last 2 years. So I always resorted to apps (sans Tinder), and I hated them. It was overwhelming and shallow - you can’t see chemistry through a few pictures so most of the time dates I went fell flat mutually after a couple times or I was ghosted because I wasn’t down for a meaningless hookup.I’m trying though to pull myself out of this rut of being so reluctant to put myself back out there. The excuse of “being busy” isn’t an excuse anymore. I’ve had my time to relax and take a breather and work on myself. I understand this time of year is insane with Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years so I’ll open myself up more in the New Year. But where do I start? Everyone in this city just seems to be lazy and swipe away as an easy fix that tends to go nowhere. I don’t want to get back into that. I felt like I was in a hamster wheel.I guess I just need a push...most of my days are spent at the office or at shoots and in my free time I resort to just being at home working on my side hustle, . I rarely see people anymore, something has got to change.
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