I can not forget this person's name.

Before even typing this, I will say it might get all over the place.

So it started maybe 7 months ago. This girl I knew were casual friends and I didn't quite know I was attracted to her as I never saw her that way. She broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and was in a deep emotional state. Before she broke up with him, though, she got drunk and cuddled up next to me on the couch with he boyfriend drunker than shit on the floor. Of course I was a bit uncomfortable with the situation as her boyfriend was right there and I had some respect for their relationship. I never thought anything of it until I found out that she had found me attractive. This girl was very pretty, fun, and all around she was very outgoing.

Fast forward a week or two after the breakup and this girl and I haven't stopped talking for about a month. I thought we were just budding friends. However she did not see it like that I guess.

I soon found out her attraction towards me and I have to admit that I was sorta digging her too.

Anyway, between all this there was mind tricks that would both employ mind tricks on each other. I wanted to end up in a relationship with this girl and I gotta say this was the first time I had been attached to a partner. At first she was unclear what she wanted, and if I were to mention a relationship she would not object. She simply said "Give me time" or some shit like that. Eventually i ignored her for a day and she became very upset. This was one of my mind games i would play. I had been thinking about talking to her about the whole relationship and what it was to be and what it was before but I couldn't muster up the words to say. I had the feelings, and the emotional connect to the words. But I didn't know exactly what to say.

After ignoring her for about 8 hours straight (I usually am very attentive and always am talking or cracking some type of shitty joke) of ignoring her, she broke. She wanted to talk and I agreed, as I knew deeply what was to come of this talk. We bot agreed to stop all sexual things at once and we were cool.

We then went into my bedroom and watched some youtube, or something, but not until I fucked her.

As you can imagine we didn't actually stop doing anything. We only cemented that we would never be in a relationship and this was "casual" sex.

I did fail to mention that we also went on dates and her ex was still in the picture. They would go on dates, too. Her ex had no idea that we were fucking or doing anything for the longest time. I helped this girl through so much.

I know I said earlier that I was playing mind games, but what I would say I was doing was just built up frustration against her. The worst I'd ever done was act mad for a few hours so that way I didn't have to talk to her. Pretty shitty of me isn't it?

Well, her mind games consisted of giving me cute little pet names and calling me baby all the time. On top of that, one day I asked her for the final time if she would like to date me. We had a long talk about it and she ended it with "It just wouldn't be fair for you.". So I said okay and went on blindly.

So yada yada yada the summer is full of new people and adventures with her. Helped her s lot. We hirt each other often emotionally. Yada yada yada right?

This is a bad place to add this, but I almost drowned and she (sorta) saved my life. So I had a deep emotional connection that I never told her about for that. I am forever grateful for that.

Well, the whole thought process of me ending the thing we had going was going on for a while, but every time we were together it was all good. All love, right? So I didnt because I thought maybe it was just me overthinking things as I've never been in this type of relationship before. To an outsider looking in, we were dating 100000 percent. To us, we were simply friends with benefits. The whole thing was completely misleading.

So one day she messages me and asks to talk. I oblige to meet that day, and I absolutley know what is about to happen. We end all sexual things immediately and we are cool. We sit there and just chill and chat for about 30 minutes. Then my friend shows up and we were going to the river. To hike around and have some fun because it was nice lit and I really enjoy hiking and running the paths. We were awesome. Still friends and I felt a sense of relief. It was amazing. I got to keep my friend who I still loved to talk to, and there was no tense feelings anymore. I said to myself "I should have done this way earlier.".

I failed to mention this guy I was friends with since 8th grade. Him and I used to be amazing friends until he moved away. This girl and I would go up there and see him often. This girl and I even had sex in his house a time or two.

Anyway, this guy I called a good friend hit up this girl I used to talk to about a day after us not being a thing anymore. I felt betrayed, and I simply told them to no longer talk to me. I couldn't get out of my head that I saw him as a close friend, but the entire time he just probably wanted to fuсk this girl. The girl said "I don't know why I didn't fuсk him." And "He would be the perfect match for me.". Of course this only upset me because I would like to think that I have Morales.

This guy acted as if he did nothing. She acted as if she should fuсk him. In fact she said "For some reason I didnt". I find that to be fucked up to tell me.

P.S. I am fairly confident nowadays that I was just the rebound. However she did like me before breaking up??? I'm fairly confident, but not sure.

TLDR I didn't think I was this deeply invested in someone i was just having "casual" sex with, however I've been thinking about her for about 2 months now almost every day. I wrote this to maybe help? I don't think it will though. I feel heartless in a way. have had 4 partners since her. It's not been that long since we stopped.

P.S. again... I dont feel "sad" when I think about her. Her name just wont stop ringing in my head. I feel normal. However the pure uncontrolled thoughts of her name drive me fucking NUTS.

This is ridiculously long just for saying that I'm not heartbroken I just need advice on how to forget someone's literal existence. So my bad

Submitted December 03, 2019 at 12:47AM

Before even typing this, I will say it might get all over the place.So it started maybe 7 months ago. This girl I knew were casual friends and I didn't quite know I was attracted to her as I never saw her that way. She broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and was in a deep emotional state. Before she broke up with him, though, she got drunk and cuddled up next to me on the couch with he boyfriend drunker than shit on the floor. Of course I was a bit uncomfortable with the situation as her boyfriend was right there and I had some respect for their relationship. I never thought anything of it until I found out that she had found me attractive. This girl was very pretty, fun, and all around she was very outgoing.Fast forward a week or two after the breakup and this girl and I haven't stopped talking for about a month. I thought we were just budding friends. However she did not see it like that I guess.I soon found out her attraction towards me and I have to admit that I was sorta digging her too.Anyway, between all this there was mind tricks that would both employ mind tricks on each other. I wanted to end up in a relationship with this girl and I gotta say this was the first time I had been attached to a partner. At first she was unclear what she wanted, and if I were to mention a relationship she would not object. She simply said "Give me time" or some shit like that. Eventually i ignored her for a day and she became very upset. This was one of my mind games i would play. I had been thinking about talking to her about the whole relationship and what it was to be and what it was before but I couldn't muster up the words to say. I had the feelings, and the emotional connect to the words. But I didn't know exactly what to say.After ignoring her for about 8 hours straight (I usually am very attentive and always am talking or cracking some type of shitty joke) of ignoring her, she broke. She wanted to talk and I agreed, as I knew deeply what was to come of this talk. We bot agreed to stop all sexual things at once and we were cool.We then went into my bedroom and watched some youtube, or something, but not until I fucked her.As you can imagine we didn't actually stop doing anything. We only cemented that we would never be in a relationship and this was "casual" sex.I did fail to mention that we also went on dates and her ex was still in the picture. They would go on dates, too. Her ex had no idea that we were fucking or doing anything for the longest time. I helped this girl through so much.I know I said earlier that I was playing mind games, but what I would say I was doing was just built up frustration against her. The worst I'd ever done was act mad for a few hours so that way I didn't have to talk to her. Pretty shitty of me isn't it?Well, her mind games consisted of giving me cute little pet names and calling me baby all the time. On top of that, one day I asked her for the final time if she would like to date me. We had a long talk about it and she ended it with "It just wouldn't be fair for you.". So I said okay and went on blindly.So yada yada yada the summer is full of new people and adventures with her. Helped her s lot. We hirt each other often emotionally. Yada yada yada right?This is a bad place to add this, but I almost drowned and she (sorta) saved my life. So I had a deep emotional connection that I never told her about for that. I am forever grateful for that.Well, the whole thought process of me ending the thing we had going was going on for a while, but every time we were together it was all good. All love, right? So I didnt because I thought maybe it was just me overthinking things as I've never been in this type of relationship before. To an outsider looking in, we were dating 100000 percent. To us, we were simply friends with benefits. The whole thing was completely misleading.So one day she messages me and asks to talk. I oblige to meet that day, and I absolutley know what is about to happen. We end all sexual things immediately and we are cool. We sit there and just chill and chat for about 30 minutes. Then my friend shows up and we were going to the river. To hike around and have some fun because it was nice lit and I really enjoy hiking and running the paths. We were awesome. Still friends and I felt a sense of relief. It was amazing. I got to keep my friend who I still loved to talk to, and there was no tense feelings anymore. I said to myself "I should have done this way earlier.".I failed to mention this guy I was friends with since 8th grade. Him and I used to be amazing friends until he moved away. This girl and I would go up there and see him often. This girl and I even had sex in his house a time or two.Anyway, this guy I called a good friend hit up this girl I used to talk to about a day after us not being a thing anymore. I felt betrayed, and I simply told them to no longer talk to me. I couldn't get out of my head that I saw him as a close friend, but the entire time he just probably wanted to fuсk this girl. The girl said "I don't know why I didn't fuсk him." And "He would be the perfect match for me.". Of course this only upset me because I would like to think that I have Morales.This guy acted as if he did nothing. She acted as if she should fuсk him. In fact she said "For some reason I didnt". I find that to be fucked up to tell me.P.S. I am fairly confident nowadays that I was just the rebound. However she did like me before breaking up??? I'm fairly confident, but not sure.TLDR I didn't think I was this deeply invested in someone i was just having "casual" sex with, however I've been thinking about her for about 2 months now almost every day. I wrote this to maybe help? I don't think it will though. I feel heartless in a way. have had 4 partners since her. It's not been that long since we stopped.P.S. again... I dont feel "sad" when I think about her. Her name just wont stop ringing in my head. I feel normal. However the pure uncontrolled thoughts of her name drive me fucking NUTS.This is ridiculously long just for saying that I'm not heartbroken I just need advice on how to forget someone's literal existence. So my bad