If I push through, will it hurt like rape?

This is probably going to sound very problematic but I promise this is just a genuine concern of mine, please try to understand.

After like a year of just doing everything else, bf and I are attempting to have sex PiV. I’m a virgin. Each time we try, it hurts and we can barely get more than an inch in. For some context, I’ve never been able to use tampons because I just can’t fit them in, but when I’m alone and very in the mood I can fit 2 fingers in.

I’ve heard sex is painful for a lot of women the first and first few times so I think it’s best if I just breathe and push through it with heaps of foreplay and lube. A lot of people mention vaginismus but I’m sure it isn’t that, it’s just the fact that nothing has really gone in there before so it’s not used to being stretched. I’m not completely ruling it out though, but it’s just hard for me to access a doctor and have it confirmed atm.

But I’m so scared of the pain that’ll come with it. Will the pain essentially not feel like forcible penetration since my vagina just refuses to open up enough? Rape has always just seemed so frightening to me because of the helplessness but also mainly the pain aspect.

Btw, I really do want to have sex with my bf and feel ready to, everything is fine, but I’m just worried about the pain that will have to be initially endured to finally be having good enjoyable sex.



Submitted November 09, 2019 at 11:54PM

This is probably going to sound very problematic but I promise this is just a genuine concern of mine, please try to understand.After like a year of just doing everything else, bf and I are attempting to have sex PiV. I’m a virgin. Each time we try, it hurts and we can barely get more than an inch in. For some context, I’ve never been able to use tampons because I just can’t fit them in, but when I’m alone and very in the mood I can fit 2 fingers in.I’ve heard sex is painful for a lot of women the first and first few times so I think it’s best if I just breathe and push through it with heaps of foreplay and lube. A lot of people mention vaginismus but I’m sure it isn’t that, it’s just the fact that nothing has really gone in there before so it’s not used to being stretched. I’m not completely ruling it out though, but it’s just hard for me to access a doctor and have it confirmed atm.But I’m so scared of the pain that’ll come with it. Will the pain essentially not feel like forcible penetration since my vagina just refuses to open up enough? Rape has always just seemed so frightening to me because of the helplessness but also mainly the pain aspect.Btw, I really do want to have sex with my bf and feel ready to, everything is fine, but I’m just worried about the pain that will have to be initially endured to finally be having good enjoyable sex.
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