I need help accepting my orgasm

I (30m) have gotten good at edging but it is really starting to mess with my head.

When ever I have sex with my gf I find myself holding back my orgasm the entire time. When ever I get close I slow down or stop. But eventually I edge so much that it can become a chore for me to orgasm.

Other times I get myself into a mental state where I am so focused on pleasing her that my orgasm just doesn't happen.

She was going down on me the other night and I wanted to come. She also wanted me to come because she has never gotten me there through oral before. I kept feeling myself getting close but deep down I knew we wouldn't be able to have sex then. So my brain kept me from coming.

I hate the refractory period. I hate that I need to stop myself from orgasming, else my physical pleasure is over. I also don't want to come too quickly because I love the intimacy with her. While I absolutely love making her orgasm, I can feel myself growing envious of the fact that she doesn't have to hold back at all and typically orgasms 4+ times from everything I do to her.

I hate feeling this way. I just want to accept my orgasm. I want to be able to feel OK about coming quickly. And while I would never leave her hanging, I want to stop feeling so obligated to make her orgasm again and again at the expense of my own pleasure.

Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated ❤️



Submitted December 01, 2019 at 12:15AM

I (30m) have gotten good at edging but it is really starting to mess with my head.When ever I have sex with my gf I find myself holding back my orgasm the entire time. When ever I get close I slow down or stop. But eventually I edge so much that it can become a chore for me to orgasm.Other times I get myself into a mental state where I am so focused on pleasing her that my orgasm just doesn't happen.She was going down on me the other night and I wanted to come. She also wanted me to come because she has never gotten me there through oral before. I kept feeling myself getting close but deep down I knew we wouldn't be able to have sex then. So my brain kept me from coming.I hate the refractory period. I hate that I need to stop myself from orgasming, else my physical pleasure is over. I also don't want to come too quickly because I love the intimacy with her. While I absolutely love making her orgasm, I can feel myself growing envious of the fact that she doesn't have to hold back at all and typically orgasms 4+ times from everything I do to her.I hate feeling this way. I just want to accept my orgasm. I want to be able to feel OK about coming quickly. And while I would never leave her hanging, I want to stop feeling so obligated to make her orgasm again and again at the expense of my own pleasure.Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated ❤️
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