A Matryoshka doll of failures

I (33M) was ghosted again. I suppose it makes sense; I'm not a catch in the traditional sense. 5'5, working full-time to put myself through nursing school, I live with roommates, don't have lots of money.

I've basically been alone since I was 23, when I went through a not-messy but not-happy divorce.

I saw there was something wrong with myself so I sequestered and gained weight until I hit 31. I was basically playing with both feet in the grave for my whole 20's and much of my teens.

Basically learned to love myself from the ground up. Lost a ton of weight, in great shape now, working to make life better.

I used to be the SHIT with women... Now, I don't know, ya'll. I'm just ghosted all the time.

This time, she and I got along really, really, well. I guess my hopes were up.

I've just been through so much of the bottom, I don't know what I'm doing wrong these days. I get along with everyone, and I mean everyone. I'm funny, I know my presence has value with my friends and family. People like me. I'm healthy, I cook, I'm fairly handy, and I'm a pleasure to be around in many ways.

But, romantically......I have nothing.

I don't need to tell anyone it hurts to be alone. To feel like things might be there only to see that they're not.

My life, romantically, has been empty for so long...It makes me sad.

I'm not saying I'm special, but I'm desperate to hear from people who might be able to empathize with the weird circumstances that I've been through of deliberate isolation coupled with full cognitive-behavioral adaptation and renewal...

TLDR: Please help with some advice for someone struggling with constant romantic rejection.



Submitted December 01, 2019 at 12:17AM

I (33M) was ghosted again. I suppose it makes sense; I'm not a catch in the traditional sense. 5'5, working full-time to put myself through nursing school, I live with roommates, don't have lots of money.I've basically been alone since I was 23, when I went through a not-messy but not-happy divorce.I saw there was something wrong with myself so I sequestered and gained weight until I hit 31. I was basically playing with both feet in the grave for my whole 20's and much of my teens.Basically learned to love myself from the ground up. Lost a ton of weight, in great shape now, working to make life better.I used to be the SHIT with women... Now, I don't know, ya'll. I'm just ghosted all the time.This time, she and I got along really, really, well. I guess my hopes were up.I've just been through so much of the bottom, I don't know what I'm doing wrong these days. I get along with everyone, and I mean everyone. I'm funny, I know my presence has value with my friends and family. People like me. I'm healthy, I cook, I'm fairly handy, and I'm a pleasure to be around in many ways.But, romantically......I have nothing.I don't need to tell anyone it hurts to be alone. To feel like things might be there only to see that they're not.My life, romantically, has been empty for so long...It makes me sad.I'm not saying I'm special, but I'm desperate to hear from people who might be able to empathize with the weird circumstances that I've been through of deliberate isolation coupled with full cognitive-behavioral adaptation and renewal...TLDR: Please help with some advice for someone struggling with constant romantic rejection.
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