/u/raenka on Does anyone feel guilty while dating a non-asexual person?

I've(20f) been in the same sort of situation with my partner(20m) + still do feel some guilt. We started dating in highschool and I didn't realise I was ace until about 2 years into dating him. I thought I was just scared to have sex and it would go away if I pushed it. It's our first real relationship for both of us and neither of us have ever had a sexual relationship before this.

We've been together for almost 4 years now. It's been 2 years since I realised I was ace and came out to him and he is my best friend and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Your partner's an adult. It's not up to you to decide whether you're robbing him of sexual experience or if you'd be better off apart for his sake. If you're worried about it, talk to him.

Figure out what your boundaries are with sex (for example: I'm incredibly uncomfortable with receiving but if I'm in the right headspace I'm happy to give. It's completely fine if your boundaries stop at kissing though). If the relationship is worth it, come up with compromises that both of you can live with. An open relationship or him having the opportunity to have a sexual experience might work for you both, or he might genuinely be fine without sex. It's not up to you to decide his feelings on it though.

I know the feeling and it's really tough and it's not that simple. But if you're both happier together, then don't break up just because you think it's best for him. Good luck with it all.





October 31, 2019 at 12:02AM
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