She Was Flaky So I Walked. Know Your Value!!!

I've (27M) been pursuing this long distance non-relationship romantic fling with a woman (31F) going on 6 months now. We met at a wedding and hit things off, danced, and made out quite a bit. I got her number and after the wedding we started chatting.

We were quite infatuated with one another, despite being over 2500 miles away from one another. She would send me snaps and texts almost constantly. She was incredibly sweet and very very attractive - easily a 9 and exactly my type: a petite but curvy blonde with incredible eyes.

After a couple of weeks I invited her to see me and she said "Maybe, I'll have to look into it". I replied "No worries, I know it's a lot to ask so just let me know" I didn't think much of it, but little did I know this was going to be the story of our relationship. I would ask to see her and she would string me along or flake out. I never did hear back about that specific date, but I asked her to be my +1 to a wedding in my state and after sitting on it for 5 weeks she finally agreed. A few weeks after that, I offered to come see her and she agreed, so I booked the tickets and I stayed with her for a few days.

Over the course of six months, those were the only times we saw one another. Any other time I would ask when she was available to see me she would give me bullshit.

"I'll look at my calendar this weekend and get back to you" That weekend? Crickets... Even on an occasion where I THOUGHT we had dates agreed she managed to slither her way out. I pitched a date and location and she said "Okay, those dates sounds good, let's just do it." I held off on buying my tickets or reserving hotels and I'm glad I did because two weeks before our supposed date I brought it up because she blew it off. "I'm sorry we haven't talked about it, safe to say it's not happening in two weeks so let's plan on next month!" Yep you guessed it - next month never happened. Nor did the month after.

This is when I realized I was being taken for granted and being used as an emotional crutch for her. Despite her flakiness she would still text me multiple times a day everyday and she would get upset if I wasn't in constant contact with her.

I finally had enough and told her that I wasn't interested in a pen pal and that I wanted to see her. I told her that I place a high value on my time and that although I'm very patient she hadn't been valuing my time and she didn't properly appreciate the great gift that is my time and willingness to travel to see her. "I'm busy tonight but I'll call you this weekend and we'll work out a date". My face must've read "I'll believe it when I see it" because she said "You don't believe me do you?"

"I'm giving you the chance to do what you say you will. Just don't make me a fool."

As I expected the call never came. Actions always speak louder than words and she had shown me that she valued me SO LITTLE that she wouldn't even take the time to look at her calendar. So I stopped my pursuit of her - I stopped initiating calls and texts. I would respond but never initiate. Within a couple of weeks it fizzled out and she called me to give me the friends speech and I told her I wasn't interested in friendship I was interested in a romantic relationship and that if she ever changed her mind and wanted to see me to give me a call.

Bottom line: talk is cheap as fuck. Always pay attention to what she does, not what she says. Her words only matter if they're congruent with her actions. Place a HIGH value on your time and as soon as someone shows that they don't value it start dating someone who does.

Submitted October 30, 2019 at 11:22PM

I've (27M) been pursuing this long distance non-relationship romantic fling with a woman (31F) going on 6 months now. We met at a wedding and hit things off, danced, and made out quite a bit. I got her number and after the wedding we started chatting.We were quite infatuated with one another, despite being over 2500 miles away from one another. She would send me snaps and texts almost constantly. She was incredibly sweet and very very attractive - easily a 9 and exactly my type: a petite but curvy blonde with incredible eyes.After a couple of weeks I invited her to see me and she said "Maybe, I'll have to look into it". I replied "No worries, I know it's a lot to ask so just let me know" I didn't think much of it, but little did I know this was going to be the story of our relationship. I would ask to see her and she would string me along or flake out. I never did hear back about that specific date, but I asked her to be my +1 to a wedding in my state and after sitting on it for 5 weeks she finally agreed. A few weeks after that, I offered to come see her and she agreed, so I booked the tickets and I stayed with her for a few days.Over the course of six months, those were the only times we saw one another. Any other time I would ask when she was available to see me she would give me bullshit."I'll look at my calendar this weekend and get back to you" That weekend? Crickets... Even on an occasion where I THOUGHT we had dates agreed she managed to slither her way out. I pitched a date and location and she said "Okay, those dates sounds good, let's just do it." I held off on buying my tickets or reserving hotels and I'm glad I did because two weeks before our supposed date I brought it up because she blew it off. "I'm sorry we haven't talked about it, safe to say it's not happening in two weeks so let's plan on next month!" Yep you guessed it - next month never happened. Nor did the month after.This is when I realized I was being taken for granted and being used as an emotional crutch for her. Despite her flakiness she would still text me multiple times a day everyday and she would get upset if I wasn't in constant contact with her.I finally had enough and told her that I wasn't interested in a pen pal and that I wanted to see her. I told her that I place a high value on my time and that although I'm very patient she hadn't been valuing my time and she didn't properly appreciate the great gift that is my time and willingness to travel to see her. "I'm busy tonight but I'll call you this weekend and we'll work out a date". My face must've read "I'll believe it when I see it" because she said "You don't believe me do you?""I'm giving you the chance to do what you say you will. Just don't make me a fool."As I expected the call never came. Actions always speak louder than words and she had shown me that she valued me SO LITTLE that she wouldn't even take the time to look at her calendar. So I stopped my pursuit of her - I stopped initiating calls and texts. I would respond but never initiate. Within a couple of weeks it fizzled out and she called me to give me the friends speech and I told her I wasn't interested in friendship I was interested in a romantic relationship and that if she ever changed her mind and wanted to see me to give me a call.Bottom line: talk is cheap as fuck. Always pay attention to what she does, not what she says. Her words only matter if they're congruent with her actions. Place a HIGH value on your time and as soon as someone shows that they don't value it start dating someone who does.