Oldest story in the world. I'm crazy about her, but she has a boyfriend

First of all, I want to say I hate that I'm even writing this post. I've never chased a girl with a boyfriend my entire life, because I genuinely think that's unfair to both of them. But here I am. I'm an exchange student and I still have almost three months before going home. I was really loving my time here, before I met this girl. I'm not going to say anything about her, but we immediately hit it off and honestly, I just fell for her. Then I discovered she has a boyfriend. And I really tried to forget about her, I really did. But I couldn't, because we have the same friends here and I basically see her every day. It's been almost a month and nothing changed. I know I just shouldn't go after her, but that's what I tried to do for a long time and it's just not working. I tried to go after other girls but I can't stop thinking about her. So I need to go after. I know I would have a chance if she was single, but that's not the point. I need to snap out of it. Of course if she feels the same way, I will be the happiest guy in the world. But I think even a rejection would improve my situation. What I know for a fact is I can't ruin four months of my life for a girl who has a boyfriend.

So I realised I need to give it a shot. But I want to do it in the most fair way. I don't want her to think I'm just a random asshole who hits on girls with boyfriends. I don't want to get her drunk and try to kiss her in a club. I don't see her as a potential one-night stand, I don't want her to just cheat on her boyfriend with me. That's just not the way I feel about her, especially considering we live kind of close to each other in our home country. I thought about just talking to her about the way I feel and then just accept what's going to happen. But I'm not sure that's the best way. The biggest problem is I don't have anyone to talk about it, because the friendships I have here are not that strong yet and the friends I have back home are just able to say "stop thinking about it", but I've just tried to do that for almost a month with no success.



Submitted October 30, 2019 at 11:49PM

First of all, I want to say I hate that I'm even writing this post. I've never chased a girl with a boyfriend my entire life, because I genuinely think that's unfair to both of them. But here I am. I'm an exchange student and I still have almost three months before going home. I was really loving my time here, before I met this girl. I'm not going to say anything about her, but we immediately hit it off and honestly, I just fell for her. Then I discovered she has a boyfriend. And I really tried to forget about her, I really did. But I couldn't, because we have the same friends here and I basically see her every day. It's been almost a month and nothing changed. I know I just shouldn't go after her, but that's what I tried to do for a long time and it's just not working. I tried to go after other girls but I can't stop thinking about her. So I need to go after. I know I would have a chance if she was single, but that's not the point. I need to snap out of it. Of course if she feels the same way, I will be the happiest guy in the world. But I think even a rejection would improve my situation. What I know for a fact is I can't ruin four months of my life for a girl who has a boyfriend.So I realised I need to give it a shot. But I want to do it in the most fair way. I don't want her to think I'm just a random asshole who hits on girls with boyfriends. I don't want to get her drunk and try to kiss her in a club. I don't see her as a potential one-night stand, I don't want her to just cheat on her boyfriend with me. That's just not the way I feel about her, especially considering we live kind of close to each other in our home country. I thought about just talking to her about the way I feel and then just accept what's going to happen. But I'm not sure that's the best way. The biggest problem is I don't have anyone to talk about it, because the friendships I have here are not that strong yet and the friends I have back home are just able to say "stop thinking about it", but I've just tried to do that for almost a month with no success.
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