One of my (F 21) closest friends (F 22) who is also my roommate started dating my ex (M 21). Not sure how to cope.

TL;DR: my close friend of 3 years/roommate betrayed my trust by getting in a relationship with my ex. How can i deal with this?

Almost all of last year I (F 21) was seeing/dating/hooking up with this guy (M 21) , let's call him Cole. There were tons of emotions involved, but we never really put a label on our relationship. Looking back, he didn't treat me very well. He ended up dumping me pretty unexpectedly, and it was really painful for a long time.

One of my closest friends of 3 years and roommate for 2 years, let's call her Anna, told me a few months later that he had DM'd her. Being one of my closest friends, Anna had heard every dirty detail of Cole and my relationship, and saw what I went through during it and after it had ended. I was a little uncomfortable with that, but the DM didn't seem overtly flirty. A week later I sat down with her and we talked about him.

I brought up how he had been DMing her and expressed my concern about him seemingly pursuing her. She said " I would never do that to you", and reassured me that she would never get with him, knowing how it would hurt me. Being one of my closest friends, of course I trusted her.

Flash forward a couple of weeks, and Cole and Anna are in a relationship. She didn't even tell me they were hanging out or going on dates. When she finally told me about it, she acknowledged that she had broken her promise and said being with him was a "moment of weakness" and that it's been really hard for her.

I took this pretty hard. It felt like a betrayal of trust and friendship. Besides being a close friend she also lives with me, which complicates things further.

Am I overreacting? There's so much awkward energy in our house now and I feel so sad about this. How can I cope with this?



Submitted October 26, 2019 at 12:02AM

TL;DR: my close friend of 3 years/roommate betrayed my trust by getting in a relationship with my ex. How can i deal with this?Almost all of last year I (F 21) was seeing/dating/hooking up with this guy (M 21) , let's call him Cole. There were tons of emotions involved, but we never really put a label on our relationship. Looking back, he didn't treat me very well. He ended up dumping me pretty unexpectedly, and it was really painful for a long time.One of my closest friends of 3 years and roommate for 2 years, let's call her Anna, told me a few months later that he had DM'd her. Being one of my closest friends, Anna had heard every dirty detail of Cole and my relationship, and saw what I went through during it and after it had ended. I was a little uncomfortable with that, but the DM didn't seem overtly flirty. A week later I sat down with her and we talked about him.I brought up how he had been DMing her and expressed my concern about him seemingly pursuing her. She said " I would never do that to you", and reassured me that she would never get with him, knowing how it would hurt me. Being one of my closest friends, of course I trusted her.Flash forward a couple of weeks, and Cole and Anna are in a relationship. She didn't even tell me they were hanging out or going on dates. When she finally told me about it, she acknowledged that she had broken her promise and said being with him was a "moment of weakness" and that it's been really hard for her.I took this pretty hard. It felt like a betrayal of trust and friendship. Besides being a close friend she also lives with me, which complicates things further.Am I overreacting? There's so much awkward energy in our house now and I feel so sad about this. How can I cope with this?
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