I [21F] don’t know if me and this guy [23M] that I met from tinder are going to work out...

I met a guy about a month ago through tinder. He lives about an hour from me so right now we are sort of long distance. I didn’t swipe right because I was head over heals from his profile or anything and wasn’t expecting much when he matched and messaged from me. But we started talking and exchanged numbers and social media and fast forward we couldn’t stop talking to each other and getting to know each other. We told each other about our childhoods, our interests, our life goals, our fears, everything. Like young naive lovers.

I will admit, I fell for a guy I didn’t even met. But he said he fell for me. He couldn’t stop talking to me and kept complimenting me and saying I we have potential to be something and stuff like that. We planned on getting coffee together but I couldn’t end up going and he was so understanding. We have talked on the phone for hours at a time and snap-chatted like crazy.

Then, we had I guess what could be called “phone sex” minus the nudes a few times last week. Mainly just to help us get off. Last time we did it was last weekend and me feeling very comfortable (and a bit high) said something like I really like you but I don’t want this to be the basis of our connection. He reassured me and i reassured him that I want to keep having fun I just want us to have more between us.

I am not sure if I should have said that. We were talking so much and getting really deep with one another so I just felt like our connection was already more than sex anyways.

But after that he’s been so weird. I also asked him a day after the phone sex thing happened if everything was okay and he told me he was really stressed and I believed him because I know he has a lot on his plate. He only messages me on snap. He still says good morning and good night and asks how I am but it just doesn’t feel the same. He went from calling me dear and complimenting me and seeming interested to just short messages. I am half rationalizing it’s because he is working on some major project right now, but a couple days we somehow brought up what happened and he admitted he thought he made me uncomfortable and I reassured him I wasn’t and that I probably shouldn’t have said that.. We snapped after that and were being cutesy but then the next couple days he went back to being short in his responses. I wonder if he was only saying that because he was drinking wine at the time.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ask him a third time if everything is okay. He’s also is presenting a major project soon so I don’t want to stress him out or just stop talking to him before that. Should I wait to see if he starts acting normal once this project is over or do you think it’s something more?

I know we haven’t been talking too much but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. I’ve been ghosted by guys before while other guys only pursued me in hopes of hooking up. I just keep getting hurt over people I think care about me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to tell if he cares. And I don’t know why I care so fucking much.

Tl;dr: me and guy I met on tinder about a month ago got to know each on a deep level. We had phone sex a few times and the third and last time I told him I hope this doesn’t become the basis of our relationship and he assured me it wouldn’t. Then he started to be short in his responses with me and said he is just stressed because of the big project he’s working on and that’s why he isn’t being very responsive. Then it came up again a couple days ago and he admitted he thought he made me uncomfortable last weekend. After we discussed that, we were being all cutesy for a night (probably because he was not sober) and then he started being short again in his responses the next day.

Submitted October 26, 2019 at 12:02AM

I met a guy about a month ago through tinder. He lives about an hour from me so right now we are sort of long distance. I didn’t swipe right because I was head over heals from his profile or anything and wasn’t expecting much when he matched and messaged from me. But we started talking and exchanged numbers and social media and fast forward we couldn’t stop talking to each other and getting to know each other. We told each other about our childhoods, our interests, our life goals, our fears, everything. Like young naive lovers.I will admit, I fell for a guy I didn’t even met. But he said he fell for me. He couldn’t stop talking to me and kept complimenting me and saying I we have potential to be something and stuff like that. We planned on getting coffee together but I couldn’t end up going and he was so understanding. We have talked on the phone for hours at a time and snap-chatted like crazy.Then, we had I guess what could be called “phone sex” minus the nudes a few times last week. Mainly just to help us get off. Last time we did it was last weekend and me feeling very comfortable (and a bit high) said something like I really like you but I don’t want this to be the basis of our connection. He reassured me and i reassured him that I want to keep having fun I just want us to have more between us.I am not sure if I should have said that. We were talking so much and getting really deep with one another so I just felt like our connection was already more than sex anyways.But after that he’s been so weird. I also asked him a day after the phone sex thing happened if everything was okay and he told me he was really stressed and I believed him because I know he has a lot on his plate. He only messages me on snap. He still says good morning and good night and asks how I am but it just doesn’t feel the same. He went from calling me dear and complimenting me and seeming interested to just short messages. I am half rationalizing it’s because he is working on some major project right now, but a couple days we somehow brought up what happened and he admitted he thought he made me uncomfortable and I reassured him I wasn’t and that I probably shouldn’t have said that.. We snapped after that and were being cutesy but then the next couple days he went back to being short in his responses. I wonder if he was only saying that because he was drinking wine at the time.I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ask him a third time if everything is okay. He’s also is presenting a major project soon so I don’t want to stress him out or just stop talking to him before that. Should I wait to see if he starts acting normal once this project is over or do you think it’s something more?I know we haven’t been talking too much but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. I’ve been ghosted by guys before while other guys only pursued me in hopes of hooking up. I just keep getting hurt over people I think care about me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to tell if he cares. And I don’t know why I care so fucking much.Tl;dr: me and guy I met on tinder about a month ago got to know each on a deep level. We had phone sex a few times and the third and last time I told him I hope this doesn’t become the basis of our relationship and he assured me it wouldn’t. Then he started to be short in his responses with me and said he is just stressed because of the big project he’s working on and that’s why he isn’t being very responsive. Then it came up again a couple days ago and he admitted he thought he made me uncomfortable last weekend. After we discussed that, we were being all cutesy for a night (probably because he was not sober) and then he started being short again in his responses the next day.